POLITICAL BOSS--"So you wish to enter politics, madam. What are your
qualifications?"

LADY APPLICANT--"Well, I have served three terms as a member of the
Board of Education."

YOUNG 'UN--"I'm taking political economy at college."

OLD 'UN--"That's a useless course. Why learn to economize in politics?
It's not being done."

FIRST PASSENGER--"I understand that your city has the rottenest
political ring in the country."

SECOND PASSENGER--"That's right. But how did you know where I'm from?"

FIRST PASSENGER--"I don't."

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY (investigating election fund)--"Dave, what
happened to you before you reached the polls?"

DAVE (an old negro)--"Well suh, the fust thing, suh, a man stopped me
an' said: 'Dave, heah's four dollahs; I want you to go right down to
de polls an' vote for Mr. Brown; he's the Republican candidate for
Congress and a very fine man.'"

PROSECUTOR--"Did you take the money?"

DAVE--"O, yassir, I took de money. And then, as I wuz goin' on down de
street another man stops me and says: 'Dave, heah's seven dollahs; I
want you to go right down to de polls an' vote for Mr. Rogers; he's
the Democratic nominee for Congress and a very fine man.'"

PROSECUTOR--"Did you take that money, too, Dave?"

DAVE--"O, yassir, I took dat money, too, suh."

PROSECUTOR--"Then, Dave, how did you vote?"

DAVE--"Well, suh, after speculatin' quite a spell, suh, as to what a
niggah ought to do in a case ob dat kind, suh, I walks right into de
polls and votes de straight Republican ticket, suh, 'cause I figgered,
suh, dat dis here Republican man, he war de least corrupt ob de two."

"Don't you think our friend Crossum might loom up as a dark horse?"

"No," declared Senator Sorghum, "record's too shady. It would require
a great deal of whitewashing to qualify him as a dark horse."

YOUNG HOPEFUL--"Father, what is a traitor in politics?"

VETERAN POLITICIAN--"A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes
over to the other one."

YOUNG HOPEFUL--"Well, then, what is a man who leaves his party and
comes over to yours?"

VETERAN POLITICIAN--"A convert, my son."

During a municipal campaign in Chicago a politician dropped in one
morning to see a certain grocer. During the conversation that took
place, the politician asked, "And I may count upon your support, may I
not?"

"Why, no, I am sorry to say," replied the grocer. "The fact is, I have
promised my support to the other candidate."