ting
on?' 'Not very well,' was the reply, 'but, thank the Lord, the others
are not doing any better.'"

REMEDIES

A Chinaman was asked if there were good doctors in China.

"Good doctors!" he exclaimed, "China have best doctors in world. Hang
Chang one good doctor; he great; save life, to me."

"You don't say so! How was that?"

"Me velly bad," he said. "Me callee Doctor Han Kon. Give some
medicine. Get velly, velly ill. Me callee Doctor San Sing. Give more
medicine. Me glow worse--go die. Blimebly callee Doctor Hang Chang. He
got no time; no come. Save life."

The other day a negro went into a drug store and said:

"Ah wants one ob dem dere plasters you stick on yoah back."

"I understand," said the clerk, "You mean one of our porous plasters?"

"No, sab, I don't want none ob your porous plasters, I wants de bes'
one you got."

A Swedish farmer, who lived on his wheat farm in Minnesota, was taken
ill and his wife telephoned the doctor.

"If you have a thermometer," answered the physician, "take his
temperature. I will be out and see him presently."

An hour or so later when the doctor drove up, the woman met him at the
door.

"How is he?" asked the doctor.

"Veil," said she, "I bane put the barometer on him like you tell me,
and it say 'Very dry,' so I give him a pitcher of water to drink, and
now he ban gone back to vork."

BESSIE--"The doctor says mamma must take a constitutional every
morning. What's that mean?"

BOBBY--"That means walking."

BESSIE--"Then why didn't he say walk?"

BOBBY--"I don't know, but I guess maybe if he called it that he
couldn't charge for it."

REMINDERS

HE (to wife who is off for the beach)--"Now, don't forget me, dear."

SHE--"As if I could, Jack. The surf at night sounds just like you
snoring."

The late Horace Hutton used to say that having to take a little
trouble would impress a fact on any one's memory so that he would
never be able to forget it. In illustration he would tell this story:

"Our waitress, Maggie, could never remember to put salt on the table,
and time after time Mrs. Hutton would remind her to do it. One
morning it was absent, as usual, and I said, 'Maggie, where is the
stepladder?'

"'It's in the pantry, sir!'

"'Please bring it in, Maggie,' I said kindly.

"Maggie brought it in with a look of wonder on her face.

"'Put it right beside the table,' I commanded, and when she had done
so I added: 'Now, I want