to side. The fishmonger for
a moment was speechless with indignation. Then turning to his
prospective customer, he bawled:

"Mon, mon! whustle to yer dog! Whustle to yer dog!"

"Hoot, mon," returned the other, complacently, "whustle to yer
lobster!"

SEASICKNESS

"My dear old fellow! What's the matter? The sea's like a duck-pond!"

"I know, old boy--but I've taken six--different--remedies."--_Punch_.

The Chief Justice while presiding over the Supreme Court at Washington
took the several Justices of the Court for a run down Chesapeake Bay.
A stiff wind sprang up, and Justice Gray was getting decidedly the
worst of it. As he leaned over the rail in great distress the Chief
Justice touched him on the shoulder and said in a tone of deepest
sympathy:

"Is there anything I can do for you, Gray?"

"No, thank you," returned the sick Justice, "unless your Honor can
overrule this motion."

An amateur sailor was making his first trip across the Atlantic, and
was in the throes of the _mal de mer_ when the ship's surgeon came
across him.

"What's the matter?" was the doctor's callous query.

"O-o-oh!" was the only response as the young man rolled over in agony.

"Come, get up," derided the surgeon, grinning unfeelingly. "The ship's
been torpedoed and will sink in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?" the sick man protested feebly. "Can't you make it any
sooner?"

"How was the trip over?" I asked one of our returning soldiers.

"Rough as thunder," was the reply.

"Did they feed you well?" I asked.

"Six meals a day," he said.

"Six?" I echoed.

"Yes," was the laughing reply; "three down and three up."

A New York man was crossing the Atlantic with an army officer who
suffered greatly from sea-sickness.

On entering the stateroom one particularly rough day, he found the
officer tossing in his berth, muttering in what at first appeared to
be a sort of delirium.

Stooping over to catch his words, the friend heard him say: "Sergeant
... major ... sergeant ... major ... brigadier-general ... ugh,
_lieutenant_-general ... a-a-ah!"

"What are you saying?" asked the friend in some alarm, as the sufferer
looked piteously up at him after his last gasping "a-a-ah!"

"Assigning the waves their rank," said the military man, rolling
toward the wall again. "There have been eight lieutenant-generals
within the last twenty minutes."

CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST--"Nothing is ever lost! Everything in the universe
i