rop, they fine you for it!

TEACHERS

FATHER (meaningly)--"Who is the laziest member of your class, Tommy?"

TOMMY--"I don't know, pa."

FATHER--"I should think you should know. When all the others are
industriously studying or writing their lessons, who is it sits idly
in his seat and watches the rest, instead of working himself?"

TOMMY--"The teacher."

The Literary Digest offers each week a prize of fifty dollars for the
best argument in compact form for better salaries for teachers. The
editor of The Reporter humbly submits to the editor of The Digest this
bit of pathos:

"What shape, madam, was the pocketbook you lost?"

"Flat. I'm a teacher."

The kindergarten had been studying the wind all week--its power,
effects, etc.--until the subject had been pretty well exhausted. To
stimulate interest, the kindergartner said, in her most enthusiastic
manner: "Children, as I came to school today in the trolley-car, the
door opened and something came softly in and kissed me on the cheek.
What do you think it was?"

And the children joyfully answered, "The conductor!"--_Harper's_.

"We have just learned of a teacher who started poor twenty years
ago and has retired with the comfortable fortune of fifty thousand
dollars. This was acquired through industry, economy, conscientious
effort, indomitable perseverance, and the death of an uncle who left
her an estate valued at $49,999.50."

"Pa," inquired a seven-year-old seeker after the truth, "is it true
that school-teachers get paid?"

"Certainly it is," said the father.

"Well, then," said the youth indignantly, "that ain't right. Why
should the teachers get paid when us kids do all the work?"

While the school teacher was away at the annual meeting of the state
association she sent all of her little pupils a postcard greeting.
Little Edgar replied in kind and on his card wrote: "I hope you are
enjoying our vacation."

_See also_ Fords.

TEACHING

About the most hopeful element in any human being's character I should
reckon to be teachableness.

Wherever you meet a man who knows--and knows he knows--and wards off
any proof of reasoning of yours with the impenetrable shield of a
superior smile or the dull hostility of a determined eye, you feel
that between you and him there can be no real dealings.

The wisest minds I find are the most teachable. The wider one's
experience, the more thorough his study, the braver his heart,