. Afterwards the sheik went to this man and said, "Evidently you
are not afraid of your wife." The man responded: "She gave me such a
beating this morning that I was too lame to stand up."

A well-to-do Scottish woman one day said to her gardener:

"Man Tammas, I wonder you don't get married. You've a nice house, and
all you want to complete it is a wife. You know the first gardener
that ever lived had a wife."

"Quite right, missus, quite right," said Thomas, "but he didna keep
his job long after he gat the wife."

CREWE--"Good heavens, how it rains! I feel awfully anxious about my
wife. She's gone out without an umbrella."

DREW--"Oh, she'll be all right. She'll take shelter in some shop."

CREWE--"Exactly. That's what makes me so anxious."

Mrs. Clarke came running hurriedly into her husband's office one
morning.

"Oh, Dick," she cried, as she gasped for breath. "I dropped my diamond
ring off my finger, and I can't find it anywhere."

"It's all right, Bess," replied Mr. Clarke. "I came across it in my
trousers pocket."

_And Then Some_

MAN expects his wife to be:
Perpetuator of the Race.
Domestic Science Expert.
Trained Kindergartner.
Social Diplomat.
Purchasing Agent.
Superintendent of Operating.
Accountant.
Social Secretary.
General Counsel.
Manager Lost and Found Department.
Advertising Agent.
Intelligence Bureau.
Family Statistician.
Mistress of the Exchequer.
Playground Supervisor.
Judge of Juvenile Court.
Valet.
Nurse.
Employer of Labor.
Artist in the Art of Living.
WOMAN is seeking an even larger sphere.

MRS. A.--"Does your husband consider you a necessity or a luxury?"

MRS. B.--"It depends, my dear, on whether I am cooking his dinner or
asking for a new dress."

There are certain family privileges which we all guard jealously:

An attorney was consulted by a woman desirous of bringing action
against her husband for a divorce. She related a harrowing tale of
the ill-treatment she had received at his hands. So impressive was her
recital that the lawyer, for a moment, was startled out of his usual
professional composure. "From what you say this man must be a brute of
the worst type," he exclaimed.

The applicant for divorce arose and, with severe dignity, announced:
"Sir, I shall consult another lawyer. I came here to get advice as to
a divorce, not to hear my husband abused!"