man will do."

"Ah," said the American, "but you interrupted me too soon, monsieur. I
was going to say that I would bet that she would do the unexpected."

"Ah, but don't do that, either," cautioned Clemenceau. "Even that is
not a safe bet."

The most consoling thing about going to the cinemas is seeing so many
women in the pictures opening their mouths and not saying a word you
can hear.

When lovely woman wants a favor,
And finds, too late, that man won't bend,
What earthly circumstance can save her
From disappointment in the end?

The only way to bring him over,
The last experiment to try,
Whether a husband or a lover,
If he have feeling is--to cry.

--_Poebe Cary_.

During the flu epidemic in San Francisco, when all public
meeting-places were closed, and the entire population was compelled
to wear masks to prevent the spread of the disease, a drunken man was
overheard muttering:

"Well, I'm an old man, but I have lived my time and am ready to quit.
I have lived to see four great things come to pass--the end of
the war, the churches closed, saloons left open, and the women
muzzled."--_Judge_.

A crabbed old misogynist said to Ethel Barrymore at a dinner in Bar
Harbor:

"Woman! Feminism! Suffrage! Bah! Why, there isn't a woman alive who
wouldn't rather be beautiful than intelligent."

"That's because," said Miss Barrymore calmly, "so many men are stupid
while so few are blind."

HE--"When I proposed to Flossie she asked me for a little time to make
up her mind."

SHE (the hated rival)--"Oh! So she makes that up too, does she?"

Woman is certainly coming into her own. Even in tender romance she is
exerting an influence.

The young man had just been accepted. In his rapture he exclaimed,
"But do you think, my love, I am good enough for you?"

His strong-minded fiancee looked sternly at him for a moment and
replied, "Good enough for me? You've got to be!"--_Judge_.

ONE--"Yes, in a battle of tongues a woman can always hold her own."

THE OTHER--"Perhaps she can. But why doesn't she?"

Young Arthur was wrestling with a lesson in grammar. "Father," said
he, thoughtfully, "what part of speech is woman?"

"Woman, my boy, is not part of speech; she is all of it," returned
father.

During the recess period several teachers became engaged in a heated
argument over that old theme, "Man _versus_ Woman."

"Well, anyway," concluded the dyspeptic male teacher of La