"

_See also_ Drinking.

WIDOWS

"If you want to be really popular with men," says Mr. Arthur Pendenys,
"become a widow." This of course, may be all right, but few husbands
can really learn to love a wife who makes a practise of this sort of
thing.--_Punch_.

Dinah's husband had just been killed on the Railroad while discharging
his duties as a brakeman. An agent of the road promptly settled her
claim by the payment of a thousand dollars. Her friends consoled her
with the thought that with so much money she would be the most sought
after woman in Darktown. She stoutly maintained that she would not
marry again and that she "had no plans" but finally said between her
sobs "But if ah evah do marry I shuah am gwine to marry a railroad
man."

WINDOWS

Without windows there would be no fresh-air fiends. A single window
may make or mar a whole household. Used occasionally by burglars,
small boys and lovers, the singular power of the window to control our
destiny has not hitherto been recognized. Without windows there would
be no ghost stories, for how could the rain beat on the pane, or the
wind come in short gusts through the cracks? Neither would there be
melodrama, for how could the heroine crouch on the floor if there were
no sudden flashes of lighting or falling snow to gaze at through the
window? What poems have been written by just looking through a window;
and as for literature in general, who does not remember the window
in Thrums? The first thing we look at upon entering a room is the
windows. At night the window is the last thing we adjust, and in the
morning the first we gaze out of. The first window was the beginning
of civilization. Consider the window of a cell, how symbolic it is of
a dwarfed and misdirected life. The composite health of any community
can almost be predicated upon the number of its windows that are kept
open at night.

Then there are the windows of the soul, without which no best seller
would be worth the price of admission.

WISDOM

"Father, have you cut all four of your wisdom teeth?"

"Yes, son. I have purchased a used car, accepted a nomination, been
chairman of a local reception committee, and married your mother."

True wisdom laboring to expound,
Heareth others readily;
Fake wisdom, sturdy to deny, closeth
Up her mind to argument.

--_Tupper_.

WISHES

MABEL--"Oh, but I wish I had a nice big car, with blue plush
u