n you are ready to go home you go to him and ask if
anybody has turned a lost overcoat in to him. Then, of course, you'll
get yours."

STREET-CARS

A very pretty but extremely slender girl entered a street car and
managed to seat herself in a narrow space between two men. Presently a
portly colored mammy entered the car, and the pretty miss, thinking to
humiliate the men for lack of gallantry, arose.

"Aunty," she said, with a wave of her hand toward the place she had
just vacated, "take my seat."

"Thank you, missy," replied the colored woman, smiling broadly, "but
which gen'man's lap was you sittin' on?"

"Madam," said the man in the street-car, "I know I ought to get up and
give you my seat, but unfortunately I've recently joined the Sit Still
Club."

"That's all right, sir," replied the woman. "And you must excuse
me for staring at you so hard: I am a member of the Stand and Stare
Club."

She proved herself so active and conscientious a member that the man
began to feel uncomfortable under her gaze. Finally he rose and
said: "Take my seat, madam; I guess I'll resign from my club and join
yours."

STRIKES

TEACHER--"Now, if I paid one man two dollars a day for seven days,
another three dollars and fifty cents for ten days, and another four
dollars and seventy-five cents for six days--"

REDDY BACKROW (whose father belongs to the union)--"You'd have the
durndest strike on your hands you ever saw, teacher."

"Everybody's striking,"
Said the Old Clock on the shelf;
"It seems to be the fashion.
So I think I'll strike myself.

"But striking is my business--
Did you ever see such luck
I'll have to give up striking
Just to show folks that I've struck!"

THE LADY-"So you're really one of the strikers?"

THE LOAFER-"Yus, lidy. I'm wot they call one o' the pioneers o' the
movement. I went on strike twenty-three years ago, lidy, and I ain't
never give in yet."

A strike is not a "brake on industry." It's a displaced switch.

THE FATHER--"But have you enough money to marry my daughter?"

THE SUITOR--"Well, sir, at the moment I only get 300 francs a month,
but by going on strike every other month for higher wages, I shall be
getting 1,000 francs by the end of the year."

EMPLOYER--"There's a spirit of unrest among my men."

VISITOR--"What about?"

EMPLOYER--"Because they can not find any excuse to go out on a
strike."--_Judge_.

SUBSTITUTES