moral, sor; but they say his humor is
contagious!"

SENTRIES

_See_ Armies.

SERMONS

_See_ Preaching.

SERVANTS

MISTRESS--"Bridget, I'm tired of your carelessness. Only look at that
dust on the furniture. It's six weeks old at the very least."

BRIDGET--"Shure, it's no fault av moine. Oi've been here only t'ree
weeks."

While Willie and his mother were walking along the street, they passed
an employment agency with this sign in the window: "Colored Help
Supplied."

"Look, ma," said Willie. "Is that where we got our green cook?"

Cynthia, a young colored cook, who had recently given up her
employment in order that she might try her luck at the easier
profession of cateress, met her former mistress on the street.

"Good morning, Cynthia," said the lady. "Where are you working now?"

"I isn't workin' nowhere now, ma'am," replied Cynthia, coyly; "I'se
capering for a congressman."

WIFE--"I wish I knew what to do with this skirt. It's good, but
somewhat out of style."

HUSBAND--"Why don't you give it to the laundress?"

WIFE--"Don't be funny, George. She's a good laundress, and I wouldn't
offend her for the world."

MRS. ECKS--"That's a shocking clumsy maid who served us. And Mrs. Wise
said she had such a treasure."

MRS. WYE--"This maid is one she hired for the occasion. She has the
treasure locked in her room for fear one of the guests might steal
her."

MISTRESS--"Now, Ada, I want you to show us what you can do tonight. We
have a few very special friends coming for a musical evening."

COOK--"Well, mum, I 'aven't done any singin' to speak of for years,
but as you insists upon it you can put me down for 'The 'Oly City'!"

NEW MISTRESS--"How about the afternoon off?"

NORAH--"Sure, mum, take wan--I'm willin'."

MISTRESS (to newly installed cook)--"Matthews! What does this mean?
How did this policeman get here?"

COOK (equal to the occasion)--"Dunno, mum. 'E must 'ave bin left over
by the last cook."

"I hope you are habitually truthful, Norah."

"I am on me own account, mum. I only tells lies to the callers for the
family."

"A great many of the neighbors have called to see us since we moved
out here," said Mr. Crosslots.

"They didn't call to see us," replied his wife. "The report has gone
out that we have a good cook and they are trying to get acquainted
with her."

Mrs. Smith hired a Chinese servant, and tried to teach him how to
recei