w I want you boys to tell me who wrote 'Hamlet.'"

FRIGHTENED BOY--"P-p-please, sir, it-it wasn't me."

That same evening the superintendent was talking to his host, the
squire of the village. The superintendent said:

"Most amusing thing happened today. I was questioning the class over
at the school, and I asked a boy who wrote 'Hamlet.' He answered
tearfully, 'P-p-please, sir, it wasn't me.'"

After loud and prolonged laughter, the squire said:

"That's pretty good, and I suppose the little rascal had done it all
the time!"

_British and American Humor_

Having observed in a London omnibus a notice warning passengers to
be careful as they alight, which is couched in these terms: "Cinema
actors risk their lives for pay! Don't do it for nothing!" a New York
journalist remarks that "an American advertisement on that subject
would be serious; the British are more flippant in their seriousness
than the Americans."

It seems as if this critic (writes a correspondent of the Manchester
Guardian) never saw the notices posted in the trains used for
conveying American troops in France during the last six months of the
war. Tho drawn up at American headquarters, these notices are quite as
"flippant in their seriousness" as the one he quotes. One of them ran:

THREE KINDS OF FOOLS

1. Fools.

2. Damned fools.

3. SOLDIERS WHO RIDE ON TOPS AND SIDES OF CARS.

A great many American soldiers have already been killed as a result of
riding on tops of cars.

There is only six inches clearance between tops and sides of cars and
tunnel arches.

There is only six inches clearance between tops and sides of cars and
bridge superstructures.

There is only a slight clearance between sides of cars and
signal-towers.

IF YOU EXPECT TO SEE THE NEXT BLOCK KEEP YOURS INSIDE.

There was another one worded as follows:

YOUR HEAD MAY BE HARD

But not so hard as Bridges and Tunnel Arches.

Railway company will hold you responsible for damages to bridges and
tunnels and signal-towers--they are not insured.

KEEP YOUR BLOCK INSIDE

And yet another:

Huns are waiting.
Trenches ahead.
Speed up.
You won't if you ride on top of or stick your head out of cars.

KEEP YOUR IVORY IN!

HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY--"Y'r Honor, Oi think that humorist should be
prohibited from givin' his lecture in the opera house tomorrow night,
sor!"

MAYOR OF TOWN--"Why so, Mooney? Is it immoral?"

HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY--"Not im