keep any servants?"

"No, of course, not."

"But I thought I saw one in your kitchen?"

"Oh, we have servants on the premises a day or two at a time; but we
don't keep them."

FIRST MAID (bragging about a party given the day before by her
mistress)--"And they all came in limousines, and had on the grandest
clothes, and wore the biggest diamonds."

NEIGHBOR'S MAID--"And what did they talk about?"

FIRST MAID--"Us."

"I'm afraid I'll never be able to teach you anything, Maggie," was
the despairing utterance of a Trenton woman to a new Irish domestic.
"Don't you know that you should always hand me notes and cards on a
salver?"

"Sure, mum, I knew," answered Maggie, "but I didn't know you did."

Bridget had been discharged. Extracting a five-dollar bill from her
wage-roll, she threw it to Fido. Then the shocked mistress heard her
exclaim: "Sure 'n' I niver fergit a frind; that's fer helpin' me wash
the dishes."

_See also_ Recommendations.

SERVICE

_Payment_

We pay too much with money, pay
Our debts with gold, and only gold--
Bestow a purse and turn away,
And think that song is bought and sold.
A queen paid Shakespeare for his wit,
And thought that was the end of it.

We pay too much with money, deem
A dollar can discharge a debt,
Or buy a dress, or buy a dream,
Perhaps a spray of mignonette.
The deft designer, what of her?
And who can pay a gardener?

We must pay money, and pay more--
The sustenance for daily need,
And then the larger payment for
The beauty dreamed, the planted seed--
With service pay for service, give
The larger things by which we live.

Each has his gift and each his art
That men for others must employ;
We must contribute each his part
To make the universal joy--
With service pay for service, pay
Each in his own, his destined, way.

--_Douglas Malloch_.

SERVICE STAR

_The Gold Star_

Little golden service star,
How I wonder who you are.
Does a sweetheart, or a wife,
Love you, little star of "Life?"
Or a mother, proud but sad,
Who gave all, her only lad?
When I first beheld you there
You were blue, born with a prayer.
Golden star and star of blue--
With one soul God gave to you--
Do you know how proud we are
Of the golden service star?

--_Beth Nichols_.

SHOPPING

CLERK--"Now see here little girl, I can't spend t