in time. It threw him
down and hurt his leg quite badly. He got up and limped down the road.
Suddenly he noticed that something warm and wet was trickling down his
leg.

"Oh, God," he groaned, "I hope that's blood!"

During the fighting a Highlander had the misfortune to get his head
blown off.

A comrade communicated the sad news to another gallant Scot, who
asked, anxiously:

"Where's his head? He was smoking ma pipe."

A Scottish emigrant on his arrival at Montreal, stopped for a moment
to examine a coat hanging in front of a clothing store, when the
proprietor asked him if he would not try on a coat.

"I dinna ken but I wad," responded the emigrant, consulting his watch;
and he went in and set to work. No matter how often he found a fit,
he tried on another and another till he tried on about thirty. Then,
again looking at his watch, he resumed his own garment and walked off
saying:

"Weel, I've lost time, nae doot, but hang the fellow that'll no'
obleege anither when he can!"

Three Scotchmen were in church one Sunday morning when the minister
made a strong appeal for some very worthy cause, hoping that every one
in the congregation would give at least one dollar or more. The three
Scots became very nervous as the collection plate neared them, when
one of them fainted and the other two carried him out.

Scotchmen are proverbial for their caution.

Mr. MacTavish attended a christening where the hospitality of the host
knew no bounds except the several capacities of the guests. In the
midst of the celebration Mr. MacTavish rose up and made rounds of the
company, bidding each a profound farewell.

"But, Sandy, man," objected the host, "ye're not going yet, with the
evenin' just started?"

"Nay," said the prudent MacTavish. "I'm no' goin' yet. But I'm tellin'
ye good-night while I know ye all."

A Scotchman was strolling through the market-place one day with his
faithful collie at his heels. Attracted by a fine display of shell and
other fish, the Scot stopped to admire, perhaps to purchase. The
dog stood by gently wagging its tail while its master engaged the
fishmonger in conversation.

Unfortunately for the dog, its tail dropped for a moment over a big
basketful of fine live lobsters. Instantly one of the largest lobsters
snapt its claws on the tail and the surprised collie dashed off
through the market, yelping with pain, while the lobster hung on
grimly, tho dashed violently from side