building; neither shall I try to convince you that my company can
offer you anything more than any other well-managed, long-established
concern. I shall not pretend that I am especially interested in your
welfare and wish to do you a service. I am trying to make a living.
Here is a blank application. You do not need to say any of the
commonplaces. Good day, Mr. Smith.

"Ah, you have signed it. Permit me to insert the amount--say $25,000.
Our doctor will call on you tomorrow at 12:01. Thank you, Mr. Smith.
Yes; I am using a new method. The idea came from the Four Minute
speakers. Haven't lost a prospect yet. But my time is up. I shall
deliver your policy in person, but that takes only one minute under
the new system. Good-bye."

"I don't think I'll buy the house, but I've enjoyed the ride out here.
You run a good car."

"Yes, I'm agent for this make. Can I book your order?"

Keep hollering--
There's somebody
Somewhere that'll
Want what you've
Got sometime!

That clerk you all know died and approached the pearly gates.

"Give me a seat in the front row," he demanded of St. Peter.

"Sorry," said the hoary gatekeeper. "Heaven's all sold out, but I can
give you something just as good."

Trade was bad. At the end of another blank day the discouraged
salesman called on another prospective customer and asked to show his
samples.

"No, there is nothing I want today," said the customer,

"But will you just examine my line of goods?" the salesman persisted.

The customer would not.

"Then," said the salesman meekly, "will you let me use a part of your
counter to look at them myself, as I have not had the opportunity for
some time?"

"I want a pair of the best gloves you have," said Mrs. Nuritch at the
glove counter.

"Yes, ma'am," replied the polite salesman. "How long do you want
them?"

"Don't git insultin', young man! I want to buy 'em, not hire 'em."

"How do you manage to sell so many fireless cookers?"

"It's due to my method of approach," said the smart salesman. "I begin
my little talk by saying, 'Madam, I have called to enable you to spend
every afternoon at the movies.'"

NEW MAN ON THE ROAD--"What is the best time for me to see the head of
this firm I'm working for, boy?"

OFFICE BOY--"Between the time he gets your sales-account and the time
he gets your expense-account."--_Puck_.

_"Orders Is Orders"_

One of the traveling salesmen breezed back from a short trip