d there was no oil found in those
other wells about there, so it must be in our well. Oh, we have plenty
of indications. How many shares do you want?"

"Pop, what is a promoter?"

"A promoter, my son, is a man who can make either a dollar or a penny
look like thirty cents."--_Life_.

PROMPTNESS

On the occasion of the death of a chief of one of the department
bureaus in Washington, a clerk in that bureau was dashing madly down
the street when he was stopped by a friend, who asked: "Why the deuce
are you in such a tearing hurry?"

"I am going," explained the clerk, "to the funeral of my chief, and
there is nothing he hates like unpunctuality."

"I'm sorry to find the baroness out. Don't forget to tell her I
called, will you?"

"No, sir, I'll tell her at once."

PRONUNCIATION

"Wasn't it _fearful_ about the Reims cathedral?"

"Don't say Reems; it sounds _horribly_ ignorant."

"Well, how do you pronounce it?"

"Why, _Hranss_."

_"How?"_

"Hn--Hranhss! Just as if you were clearing your throat. See? Hranss!"

"Well, _you_ sound as if you had a dreadful influenza, threatened with
grip!"

"Well, that's right, anyhow. H--hn--hnh--_hrahnhss_!"

"You'd better go to Arizona! You'll _never_ get well here! I don't
believe you, anyway. Everybody says _Reems_."

"They don't, either!"

"They do so!"

"Oh, well, it depends on the sort of people you associate with--"

"Well, I _don't_ go with a lot of fake highbrows, anxious to show off
the French they learned in a course of lessons by mail--"

"Better than a lot of country junks who don't know how to pronounce--"

"Oh, well, the church wasn't hurt much, anyhow."

"No, they say it can be repaired. How do you like my hat?"

"Heavenly! What do you think of mine?"

"Adorable! Let's go in and have soda."

"Let's."--_Carolyn Wells_.

PROPERTY

"Property is the fruit of labor; property is desirable; is a positive
good in the world. That some should be rich shows that others
may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and
enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of
another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus
by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when
built."--_Abraham Lincoln_.

PROPOSALS

"No," said the positive girl, "I will never tie myself down to one
man."

"Perhaps," he replied sarcastically, "if I organize a syndicate you
w