rest of the boys."

"_Going Up_"

SMITH--"Do you realize that we are beholding the completion of a great
cycle in history?"

JONES--"Explain."

"Three hundred and six years ago the island of Manhattan was bought
from the Indians for six quarts of whisky."

"Well?"

"Well?--Within six months, maybe, the descendants of those Indians
will be able to buy it back for the same price."

I, U.S. Boose, realizing that the jag is up, declare this to be
my last will and testament: To my beloved Cocktail I bequeath
three-fourths of my evil estate, and to my faithful Highball I leave
a large share of the blame. To my sister, Wine, I give the family
grapevine and kitchen still. To my cousin, Cider, I bequeath the old
apple orchard and enough wormy fruit to keep the country moist and my
memory green.

"So you're a moonshiner?" remarked the interested tourist. The lanky
mountaineer drew himself up haughtily.

"Mister, you got me wrong," he asserted. "Since prohibition come in
we-uns call ourselves irrigation engineers."

_Discovery_

I met a man
Who knows a woman
Who has a sister
Who is married to a man
Who is related to a girl
Who knows a man
Who knows a man
Who has never pulled a prohibition joke.
I shall try to trace him.

And when the nations disarm, some statesman will slip in a joker
permitting the building of battleships for medicinal purposes.

A drunkard of long standing has been reformed by an operation which
removed a bone that pressed against the brain. The Detroit News also
reports a number of cures effected by the removal of a brass rail that
was pressing against the foot.

"Having any success with your garden?"

"The best ever," replied Mr. Jagsby.

"What are you raising?"

"Nothing. But if I hadn't had a row with one of my new neighbors over
his chickens and then a reconciliation I might not have discovered
that he had a well-stocked cellar."

PROMOTERS

The man who was selling oil stock was asked if there were any
indications of oil where his company was drilling.

"Indications!" he said. "Why, I should say so. We have three thousand
acres leased, have a standard rig up, have three hundred feet of
casing on the ground and more ordered, have our company organized
and incorporated and a million shares of stock printed, have opened
offices in three cities, have two hundred people selling stock, are
only forty miles from a pipe line, an