s from the station."

A house-hunter, getting off a train at a suburban station, said to a
boy standing near:

"My boy, I am looking for Mr. Smith's new block of semi-detached
houses. How far are they from here?"

"About twenty minutes' walk," said the boy.

"Twenty minutes!" exclaimed the house-hunter. "Nonsense! The
advertisement said five."

"Well," replied the boy, "yer kin believe me or the advertisement,
whichever yer want. But I ain't tryin' to make no sale."

"Look here, you swindler!" roared the owner of the suburban property
to the real-estate man. "When you sold me this house, didn't you say
that in three months I wouldn't part with it for $10,000?"

"Certainly," said the real-estate dealer calmly, "and you haven't,
have you?"

REALISM

Things that are what they appear to be are so rare that one cannot
tell them when one sees them.

RECOMMENDATIONS

"Eh-yah! Young Doc. Purt is a pretty good doctor," admitted the
landlord of the Petunia tavern, in reply to the inquiry of a guest who
felt the need of a physician's advice. "In spite of all the money he's
spent for electrical apparatus and the fact that he wears one of
these 'ere three-cornered vanduct beards, there have been no unusually
distressing deaths in our midst during the six months he has been with
us."

The applicant for the job of office-boy presented his credentials in
a manner that bespoke his entire confidence that the position would be
his. The sour-looking old gentleman at the head of the establishment
read the paper carefully and then surveyed the boy searchingly.

"It is certainly a very nice thing for you to have these
recommendations from the minister of your church and your
Sunday-school teacher," said he, "and I must admit that you look
honest. All the same, I'd like to have a few words from someone that
knows you on week-days."--_Harper's_.

"You say you have good references?"

"Yes, ma'am. I have over a 'undred splendid references."

"And how long have you been in domestic service?"

"Two years, ma'am."

A prominent New England educator tells of a Chinese cook in Manila
who was innocently carrying about a reference, written by a saturnine
Englishman, with which he expected to secure a good position. The
reference read as follows:

"This man cooked for me six months; it seemed much longer. He left on
account of illness--my illness."

"Have you any references?" inquired the lady of the