ome, which is the best of all; and fourth,
is the speech the newspapers next morning say I made, which bears no
relation to any of the others."

"What would be a good way to raise revenue and still benefit the
people?"

"Tax every speech made in this country."

"Many's de speech I has listened to," said Uncle Eben, "dat left me
wonderin' whether I was gettin' infohmation or entertainment."

A noted Frenchman, on visiting England was asked to speak at a
banquet. Being interested in his subject he spoke at great length.
Suddenly realizing another speaker was to follow him he closed his
remarks with an apology, saying "I am very sorry but there is another
speaker and I am afraid I have cockroached on his time."

A burst of laughter greeted this remark and in much confusion he
turned to the Englishman next to him and asked what break he had made.

The Englishman, in a reassuring manner, said "It wasn't exactly
a break only here in England we don't say cockroach, we say
'h--encroach.'"

A political meeting was on in a certain Iowa town and Thomas R.
Marshall, Vice-President of the United States, was to speak. The
hall was packed and the air was stifling. For some reason, it was
impossible to open the windows, and one had to be broken.

It was feared that the noise would startle the audience and perhaps
throw them into a panic. The mayor of the town stepped forward to give
warning. The audience, however, had not assembled to listen to the
mayor, and overwhelmed him with cries of "Marshall! Marshall!"

Silence was not restored till the infuriated official yelled at the
top of his voice:

"I'm not going to make a speech! I have something to say!"

"Do you know what it is to go before an audience?"

"No. I spoke before an audience once, but most of it went before I
did."

A lank, disconsolate-looking farmer, stood on the steps of the town
hall during the progress of a political meeting.

"Do you know who's talking in there now?" demanded a stranger,
briskly, pausing for a moment beside the farmer. "Or are you just
going in?"

"No, sir; I've just come out," said the farmer, decidedly.
"Congressman Smiffkins is talking in there."

"What about?" asked the stranger.

"Well," continued the countryman, passing a knotted hand across his
forehead, "he didn't say."

"You haven't had much to say lately," commented the old friend.

"True," replied Senator Sorghum. "But you must give me credit for one