The politician laughed. "Ah," said he, "in politics, promising and
performing are two different things."

"In that case," said the grocer cordially, "I shall be glad to give
you my promise, sir."

STRANGER--"Upon what plan are your city institutions conducted?"

CITIZEN-"A sort of let-George-do-it system--without any
George."--_Puck_.

POSTAL SERVICE

WILLIS--"What did you think of that fellow's carrying the message to
Garcia?"

GILLIS--"Don't blame him a bit. With our poor Post Office service, it
was the only way he could get it to him."

COUNTRY LADY--"I've been expecting a packet of medicine by post for a
week, and haven't received it yet."

POST-OFFICE CLERK--"Yes, madam. Kindly fill in this form, and state
the nature of your complaint."

LADY--"Well, if you must know, it's indigestion."

Aunt Mehitable Trusalive wants to know why it is every letter she
gets somebody is always printing on the outside: "Join the Navy." She
declares to goodness she never thought of such a thing and if they
don't stop she'll have the law on them.

DASHER--"This parcel-post package is being delivered in unusually
quick time. How do you account for it?"

MAIL-CARRIER--"The department thought it contained a time-bomb,
sir."-_Judge_.

FANNING--"What's become of that rubber stamp, 'Dictated, but not
read,' that you used to use on your letters?"

DASHER--"I threw it away and got one that prints, 'Mailed, but not
delivered.'"

POVERTY

Poverty is the greatest of physicians. His method is prophylactic
rather than therapeutic, but in point of results he is in a class by
himself.

His practice attests the efficacy of the ounce of prevention in big
doses.

Poverty ranks high as a surgeon, too. Nobody else cuts out so many
things that are not good for us.

In a way he has the respect of the profession. Where he is in charge
of a case no other practitioner is apt to interfere.

We should not so much esteem our poverty as a misfortune, were it not
that the world treats it so much as a crime.--_Boree_.

Not to be able to bear poverty is a shameful thing, but not to
know how to chase it away by work is a more shameful thing
yet.--_Pericles_.

Want is a bitter and a hateful good,
Because its virtues are not understood;
Yet many things, impossible to thought,
Have been by need to full perfection brought.

--_Dryden_.

Ned Shuter thus explained his reasons for preferring