gained his breath he spoke:

"Which one?"

"Oh, any one," she replied. "The feet are mixed in all of
them."--_Everybody's_.

POETS

Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool,
But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

--_Alexander Pope_.

Witter Bynner is said to have worked off a pretty good one at the
Poetry Society banquet. Some one asked him if Burns and Noyes could
not be likened to each other. Bynner replied: "Well, you can feel
Burns, while you can only hear Noyes."

When Masefield, the British poet, visited Yale, he finished his
evening's talk and readings earlier than was expected, and the
chairman of the meeting suggested that the poet should read any poem
requested by the audience. The audience, as usually happens, was
dumb. It was an awkward moment. Finally, one of the younger English
Department members rushed agitatedly into the breach.

"Won't you please read 'The Tewksbury Road,' Mr. Masefield?"

The poet looked amazed, then puzzled, and at last said with
a hesitating desire not to offend "these singular Americans":
"Ah--er--I--ah!--would be charmed to do so--really--but I've just read
it!"

Professor Alfred Noyes, the English poet, it is known, likes very much
to read his works aloud to his friends, and at Princeton, with so many
young men under him, he is usually able to gratify this liking to the
full. The other day Professor Noyes said to a junior who had called
about an examination: "Wait a minute. Don't go yet. I want to show you
the proofs of my new book of poems." But the junior made for the door
frantically. "No, no," he said. "I don't need proofs. Your word is
enough for me, professor."

HE--"I tore up that poem I wrote last week."

SHE--"Tore it up? Why, that was the best thing you ever did."

The little agricultural village had been billed with "Lecture on
Keats" for over a fortnight. The evening arrived at length, bringing
the lecturer ready to discourse on the poet. The advertised chairman,
taken ill at the last moment, was replaced by a local farmer. This
worthy introduced the lecturer and terminated his remarks by saying:

"And now, my friends, we shall soon all know what 1 personally have
often wondered--what are Keats?"

POLICE

"Why doesn't the policeman pay his fare?" inquired the old gentleman
on the twopenny tram, observing that no money passed between the
constable and the conduc