truth.--_J. Abercrombie_.

Candor is the seal of a noble mind, the ornament and pride of man, the
sweetest charm of woman, the scorn of rascals and the rarest virtue of
sociability.--_Bentsel-Sternau_.

'Tis great--'tis manly to disdain disguise,
It shows our spirit, or it proves our strength.--_Young_.

STATISTICIAN (on the platform)--"These are not my figures, ladies and
gentlemen; they are the figures of a man who knows what he is talking
about."

CAPITAL AND LABOR

WILLIE--"Paw, what is the difference between capital and labor?"

PAW--"Well, the money you lend represents capital, and getting it back
represents labor, my son."

If you divorce capital from labor, capital is hoarded, and labor
starves.--_Daniel Webster_.

CARD INDEX

MINING-STOCK PROMOTER--"Where can I hide? The police are coming!"

CHIEF CLERK--"Get into the card-index case. I defy any one to find
anything in there."--_Judge_.

CARELESSNESS

Care may kill people, but don't care kills more.

The editor in charge of the Personal Inquiry column opened his
seventieth letter with a groan.

"I have lost three husbands," a lady reader had written,
confidentially, "and now have the offer of a fourth. Shall I accept
him?"

The editor dipped his pen in the ink. This was the last straw.

"If you've lost three husbands," he wrote, "I should say you are much
too careless to be trusted with a fourth."

CATALOGING

One of the best examples of the humors of cataloging comes in
Sonnenschein's "Best Books," volume one, page 121, where Prof. Henry
Preserved Smith's well-known Old Testament History appears thus:

_Smith, Prf. Hy._ "Preserved O.T. History."

CAUSE AND EFFECT

It was in one of the social settlements conducted by persons of a
philanthropic turn of mind. The young kindergarten teacher, having
finished the morning's talk on hygiene and sanitation, wished to make
a practical application of the lesson. Turning to one little youngster
whose face, hands and whole appearance bespoke the crying need of soap
and water, she asked:

"Izzy, when the house gets all mussed up and dirty, what does mother
do?"

"We move."

LITTLE BOY--"A penn'orth each of liniment and liquid cement, please."

CHEMIST--"Are they both for the same person, or shall I wrap them up
separately?"

LITTLE BOY--"Well, I dunno. Muvver's broke 'er teapot, so she wants
the cement, but farver wants the liniment