stian Scientists. One day she said:

"Mother, do you know that it is better to be a Christian Scientist
than anything else?"

Mother asked "Why?" and Dorothy said:

"Well, Julia has 'splained it to me. If you get cross with another
little girl, and you knock her down, if you are a Christian Scientist
you won't have to apologize to her, because it won't hurt her any."

_A Mental Error_

The tram-car was hopelessly overcrowded, and several people, who
had achieved the upper deck, were transgressing all regulations by
standing.

"Now, then," called out the girl conductor, with emphasis, "you can't
stand on top."

"Well," said one literalist, smiling blandly as he peered down the
steps, "we are standing, whether we can or not."

The girl answered nothing, but promptly pressed a button. The car
jumped forward, and the literalist involuntarily took a seat on the
floor.

"There," said the girl apparently in complete good humor, quoting the
barrister in a famous play, "you think you can, but you can't."

A Christian Scientist while walking about the plant met a man doubled
up with pain.

"My man," he said, "What is the matter?"

"I was out to a banquet last night," moaned the man, "And oh, how I
ache!"

"You don't ache," answered the apostle of Mrs. Eddy. "Your pain is
imagination. It is all in your mind."

The man looked up in grave astonishment at such a statement and then
replied in a most positive manner:

"That's all right; you may think so, but I've got inside information."

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

"Isn't this too absurd?" said the hostess, as she read a letter the
maid had handed to her. "I sent Marie Burns the loveliest of bags for
Christmas. It had been given to me, I knew, and I had so many I saved
it to give away. I suppose we all do those things."

The guest nodded.

"Well, here's her letter of thanks, and listen to what she says:

"'Dear Grace: When I gave you that bag three years ago on Christmas I
was so fond of it I could hardly bear to part with it. So I thank
you most heartily for remembering me this Christmas with my own gift,
which I parted with so unselfishly. Cordially yours, Marie Burns.'"

BILL--"I hear that Jones always saves the Christmas presents people
give him and gives them back the following year."

PHIL--"I hope he does that to me. I gave him a quart of brandy in
1918."

Instead of the usual just-before-Christmas letter to Santa Claus,
Robbie wrote a praye