lk."

DANCING

The minister was dining with the Fullers and he was denouncing the
new styles in dancing. Turning to the daughter of the house, he asked
sternly:

"Do you yourself, Miss Fuller, think the girls who dance these dances
are right?"

"They must be," was the answer, "because I notice the girls who don't
dance them are always left."

DAYLIGHT SAVING

"Is your husband in favor of daylight saving?"

"I think so. He stays out so much at night that I think he'd really
prefer not to use any daylight at all."

Young Hopeful, who lives in the suburbs, was very much interested in
the adjustment of the time, and on the morning when the clocks had
been set back an hour awoke his mother.

"Mother, mother," he called from his little bed, "listen to Mrs.
Jones' chickens! They must have forgotten to tell them to set their
crow back."

"Well, yes," admitted Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., "I've heerd
something or nuther about setting the clock for'ards or bac'ards for
some reason. I don't prezisely know what. But it don't make no special
difference at our house one way or tother for the clock runs about
as it pleases till some of us sorter climb up and set it b'guess and
b'gosh as you might say. And if we save or lose an hour or two what's
the odds? We've got all the time there is anyway."

Geordie Ryton, the village cobbler, bought two clocks, one a
grandfather's. He put it in a corner and placed a small nickel clock
on the mantel-shelf. The grandfather's clock has not been altered to
the Daylight Saving Bill's requirements. "Hoo is't, Geordie," asked
a customer, "ye've altered the smaal clock and not the gran'faither's
clock?"

"Wey," replied Geordie, "they said the gran'faither's clock's been
tellin' the truth for ower sixty year, an' Aa can't find it in me
heart te make a liar ov it noo. But the little begger wes made in
Jarmany, so it'll be aal reet, he's as reet as can be for that job."

"What is worrying you now?"

"Oh, nothing much," replied the man who is perpetually pensive. "I
am merely trying to figure out what has become of all the daylight I
saved since we set the clocks forward."

"Jonas," ordered the farmer, "all the clocks in the house have run
down. Wish you'd hitch up and ride down to the junction and find out
what time it is."

"I ain't got a watch. Will you lend me one?"

"Watch! Watch! What d'ye want a watch fer? Write it down on a piece of
paper."