"Oh, papa, down at the corner grocery you can get the paper with the
flies already caught. They have lots of it in the window."

"Well, Albert, I've been acting on your advice. I put a hundred
dollars in the bank this month."

"Fine! It isn't so hard, is it?"

"No; I simply tore up all the bills."--_Life_.

_See also_ Domestic finance; Thrift.

EDITORS

"An editor is a man who puts things in the paper, isn't he?"

"Oh, no, my son; an editor keeps things out of the paper."

The editor of the newspaper in a certain small southern town was given
an article to print, praising in very elegant language the life and
works of a certain southern colonel.

The colonel and the editor were not the best of friends.

The article came out, but in spelling "scarred," in that very
important phrase "battle scarred veteran," one "r" was omitted.

The colonel threatened violence but the editor promised to admit his
error in the next issue.

In the following issue, in large type, appeared: "The editor of this
paper regrets very much an error in spelling in our last issue. In
describing our most worthy colonel, instead of 'battle scared veteran'
it should read, 'bottle scarred veteran.'"

That day the editor ceased to edit. His wife was a widow.

A country editor wrote: "Brother, don't stop your paper just because
you don't agree with the editor. The last cabbage you sent us didn't
agree with us either, but we didn't drop you from our subscription
list on that account."

The girl reporter accepted the editor's invitation to dinner and when
asked how she enjoyed it, said:

"Oh, fine, but I'll never go to dinner with an editor again."

"Why not?"

"Well, the dinner was fine, but he blue-penciled about three-quarters
of my order."

You may know the trade classic about the exchange editor. The new
owner of the newspaper asked who that man was in the corner. "The
exchange editor," he was informed. "Well, fire him," said he. "All he
seems to do is sit there and read all day."

A little boy was given the stunt by his father to write an essay on
editors and here is the result:

"If an editor makes a mistake folks say he ought to be hung; but if
a doctor makes a mistake he buries it and people dassent say nothing
because doctors can read and write Latin. When the editor makes a
mistake there is lawsuits and a big fuss; but if a doctor makes one
there is a funeral, cut flowers and perfek silence. A doc