aware of the fact but complained that he
could not overcome his fault, try as he would. He suggested that had
he but somebody beside him when he started to elaborate upon his tale,
to tread on his foot, he was sure he could break the habit.

A few days later they were invited to a dinner party and his chum
agreed to sit next to Charlie and step on his toe if he went too far.
All went well until the subject of travel was brought up. One of the
company told of an immense building that he had seen when on a trip
up the Nile. This started Charlie, who at once began to describe
a remarkable building he had seen while on a hunting trip on the
northern border of India.

"It was one of the most remarkable buildings, I presume, in the
world," said he. "Its dimensions we found to be three miles in
length, two miles in height, and"--as his watchful friend trod on his
toe--"two feet wide."

The old sea captain was smoking comfortably by his fireside when Jack,
his sailor son, burst in upon him.

"Weather too rough," explained the son, "so we've put in for the day."

"Too rough!" exclaimed Mr. Tar, with visions of his own days at sea.
"Why, sir, I was once sailing round the Cape when a storm came on, and
it blew down the main-mast and the mizzen-mast was swept away, but we
didn't even think of putting in."

"Well, you see," exclaimed the son, "this storm was so bad that it
blew the anchors off the captain's buttons, took the paint off the
ship's bows and--"

"Stop!" cried the old man. "You do me credit, Jack--you do me credit!"

EXAMINATIONS

PROF--"A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer."

STUDE--"No wonder so many of us flunk in our exams!"

EXCUSES

In a Canadian camp somewhere in England a second George Washington has
been found. He, in company with several others, had been granted four
days' leave, and, as usual, wired for extension. But no hackneyed
excuse was his. In fact, it was so original that it has been framed
and now hangs in a prominent spot in the battalion orderly-room. It
ran as follows:

"Nobody dead, nobody ill; still going strong, having a good time, and
got plenty of money. Please grant extension."

And he got it!

FIRST OFFICER--"Did you get that fellow's number?"

SECOND OFFICER--"No; he was going too fast."

FIRST OFFICER--"Say, that was a fine-looking dame in the car."

SECOND OFFICER--"Wasn't she?"--_Puck_.

TED--"Pity the rain spoiled the gam