onesty is the best policy?" "Well, it has the
deferred dividend feature."

A Vermonter had returned home after a visit to Boston. Someone asked
him what he thought of the big city.

"It's a fine place, all right, but the folks there ain't honest," he
replied.

"Not honest! Where'd you get that idea?"

"Why, I bought a roll of pins there labeled 'A Hundred Pins for Five
Cents,' and coming home on the train I counted them; they were eleven
short."

HORSES

Two men thrown together at a horse-show were discussing their
adventures with the equine tribe.

"A horse ran away with me once, and I wasn't out for two months,"
remarked the man with the Trilby hat.

"That's nothing!" replied the man with the bowler. "I ran away with a
horse once, and I wasn't out for two years!"

A motor car was held up in a busy street by a wagon drawn by two
horses. The driver seemed in no hurry to get out of the way, and at
length one of the occupants of the motor car exclaimed sarcastically:

"Here, I say, my man! What are those things you are driving? What are
they for, I should like to know?"

"These 'ere, guv'nor?" answered the carter, flicking the horses with
his whip. "Oh, these is wot is commonly called 'orses, an' they're
sometimes used fer to take motorists to the 'orspital!"

"Do you think the motor will entirely supersede the horse?"

"I hope not," replied Farmer Corntossel. "There must be some market
fur hay. I depend on what I make on hay to buy gasoline."

HOSPITALITY

Uncle Tobey was an hospitable soul. He wanted no guest in his house
to be stinted. "Have some, have some," he invited cordially at the
supper-table, sending around the platter for the third time; "we're
going to give it to the pigs anyway."--_Judge_.

Blest be that spot, where cheerful guests retire
To pause from toil, and trim their evening fire.
Blest that abode, where want and pain repair,
And every stranger finds a ready chair;
Blest be those feasts with simple plenty crown'd,
Where all the ruddy family around
Laugh at the jest or pranks, that never fail,
Or sigh with pity of some mournful tale,
Or press the bashful stranger to his food,
And learn the luxury of doing good.

--_Goldsmith_.

It is not the quantity of the meat but the cheerfulness of the guests
which makes the feast.--_Clarendon_.

BAILIE MCTAVISH--"An' so ye leave Glesca' on Monday. What are ye daein
the morrow nicht?"