tried to dissuade his visitor from carrying out his intention
of getting one saying:

"You must remember, Sam, that you promised to take Liza for better or
for worse."

"Yassir, I knows dat, boss," rejoined the darky; "but--but she's wuss
dan I took her for."

In one of the big base hospitals of the Army not long ago a new
librarian was set to work by the American Library Association. She
was a very charming young woman, and very anxious to please all of her
"customers," tho some of them didn't even wish to look at a book. In
her rounds she approached one of the patients and he declined to be
interested in her wares. At the next cot she stopped and offered its
occupant a book.

"What's it about?" the patient asked.

"Oh, this is 'Bambi,'" said the librarian. "It's about a girl who
married a man without his having anything to say about it."

"Hold on there," shouted the man who had declined all books. He raised
himself up on his elbow and reached out his hand. "Give me that book.
It's my autobiography."

Miss SNOWFLAKE--"What did Jim Jackson git married for?"

Miss WASHTUBB--"Lawd only knows;--he keeps right on workin'!"

The beautiful young woman interviewed a fortune-teller on the usual
subjects.

"Lady," said the clairvoyant, "you will visit foreign lands, and the
courts of kings and queens. You will conquer all rivals and marry
the man of your choice. He will be tall and dark and aristocratic
looking."

"And young?" interrupted the lady.

"Yes, and very rich."

The beautiful lady grasped the fortune teller's hands and pressed them
hard.

"Thank you," she said. "Now tell me one thing more. How shall I get
rid of my present husband?"

Miss Milly was rather a talkative young lady. Her bosom friend, having
missed her for some time, called to find out the reason.

"No, mum, Miss Milly is not in," the maid informed her.

"She has gone to the class."

"Why, what class?" inquired the caller in surprize.

"Well, mum, you know Miss Milly is getting married soon, so she's
taking a course of lessons in domestic silence."

Mrs. Peavish says that if it were to do over again, no man need ever
ask for her hand until he had shown his.

In London they tell of a certain distinguished statesman who is an
optimist on all points save marriage.

One afternoon this statesman was proceeding along a country road
when he saw a cottager eating his supper alone in the road before his
dwelling.

"Why,