her: "No, John, you can't
appreciate it. You never wrote a book yourself."

"No," retorted John, "and I never laid an egg, but I'm a better judge
of an omelet than any hen."

LONDON

A teacher asked her class to write an essay on London. She was
surprised to read the following in one attempt:

"The people of London are noted for their stupidity."

The young author was asked how he got that idea.

"Please, miss," was the reply, "it says in the text-books the
population of London is very dense."

"Hiram writes that the first day he was in London he lost L12."

"Great Caesar's ghost! Ain't they got any health laws in that town?"

LOST AND FOUND

OLD GENTLEMAN (in street car)--"Has anyone here dropped a roll of
bills, with a rubber elastic around them?"

"Yes, I have!" cried a dozen at once.

OLD GENTLEMAN (calmly)--"Well, I've just picked up the elastic."

"Cohn, I've lost my pocketbook."

"Have you looked by your pockets?"

"Sure, all but der left-hand hip pocket."

"Vell, vy don't you look in dot?"

"Because if it ain't dere I'll drop dead!"

The following exchange of courtesy was recently chronicled in a German
paper's advertisements:

"The gentleman who found a brown purse, containing a sum of money, in
the Blumenstrasse, is requested to forward it to the address of the
loser, as he is recognized."

A couple of days later appeared the response, which, altho courteous,
had an elusive air, to say the least:

"The recognized gentleman who picked up a brown purse in the
Blumenstrasse requests the loser to call at his house at a convenient
day."

A small boy came hurriedly down the street, and halted breathlessly in
front of a stranger going in the same direction.

"Have you lost half a crown?" he asked with his hand in his pocket.

"Y-es, yes, I believe I have!" said the stranger feeling in his
pockets. "Have you found one?"

"Oh, no," said the small boy. "I just want to see how many have been
lost today. Yours makes fifty-four!"

The young lady from New York was inclined to belittle things.

"Why," she remarked, "I could find my way up this mountain path
alone."

"Wal," responded the native, "a young couple went up this path last
year and never came back."

"Oh, my! Were they lost?"

"Nope," was the reply, "they went down the other side!"

The other day when the beach was crowded, a small boy, looking rather
bewildered, approached a police officer and s