ith three sons.

When the first son arrived the father named him George Washington.
In due time the second son came. Naturally he was christened Booker
Washington. When the third man child was born his parent was at a
loss, at first, for a name for him. Finally tho, he hit on a suitable
selection.

The third son, if he lives, will go through life as Spokane
Washington.

Aunt Lindy had brought around her three grandchildren for her mistress
to see. The three little darkies, in calico smocks, stood squirming in
line while Lindy proudly surveyed them.

"What are their names, Lindy?" her mistress asked.

"Dey's name' after flowers, ma'am. Ah name' 'em. De bigges' one's
name' Gladiola. De nex' one, she name' Heliotrope."

"Those are very pretty," her mistress said. "What is the littlest one
named?"

"She name' Artuhficial, ma'am."

William Williams hated nicknames. He used to say that most fine given
names were ruined by abbreviations, which was a sin and a shame. "I
myself," he said, "am one of six brothers. We were all given good,
old-fashioned Christian names, but all those names were shortened into
meaningless or feeble monosyllables by our friends. I shall name my
children so that it will be impracticable to curtail their names."

The Williams family, in the course of time, was blessed with five
children, all boys. The eldest was named after the father--William.
Of course, that would be shortened to "Will" or enfeebled to
"Willie"--but wait! A second son came and was christened Willard.
"Aha!" chuckled Mr. Williams. "Now everybody will have to speak the
full names of each of these boys in order to distinguish them."

In pursuance of this scheme the next three sons were named Wilbert,
Wilfred, and Wilmont.

They are all big boys now. And they are respectively known to their
intimates as Bill, Skinny, Butch, Chuck, and Kid.

Aunt Liza's former mistress was talking to her one morning, when
suddenly she discovered a little pickaninny standing shyly behind his
mother's skirts. "Is this your little boy, Aunt Liza?" she asked.

"Yes, miss; dat's Prescription."

"Goodness, what a funny name, auntie, for a child! How in the world
did you happen to call him that?"

"Ah simply calls him dat becuz Ah has sech hahd wuk gettin' him
filled."

BREATHLESS VISITOR--"Doctor, can you help me? My name is Jones--"

DOCTOR--"No, I'm sorry; I simply can't do anything for that."

A chauffeur had applied for a p