today the marriage of their daughter to
take place next Monday--"

"Huh," grunted the editor, "you can't say they announced a marriage
yet to take place."

Again the cub jabbed away at his typewriter. And when he brought it
back this time it read:

"Mr. and Mrs. Blank predicted today the marriage of their daughter."

"How many revolutions does the earth make in a day? It's your turn,
Willie Smith."

"You can't tell, teacher, till you see the morning paper."

_See also_ Editors.

"NO"

No is one of the smallest words in the English language, and yet--

It has brought about more heartaches than the war.

It has caused more children to shed tears than all the spankings in
the world put together.

It has saved more money for individuals with backbone than a year's
output of padlocks.

It has made itself Prohibition's greatest aid.

It has killed genius and thwarted ambition. It has turned love into
hate and success into failure.

It has kept kings off thrones and poets out of Arcadia.

It has caused good men to tremble and scoundrels to rejoice.

Will it ever make a change for the better?

No.

NOTHING

Mysterious Nothing! how shall I define
Thy shapeless, baseless, placeless emptiness?
Nor form, nor colour, sound, nor size is thine,
Nor words nor fingers can thy voice express;
But though we cannot thee to aught compare,
A thousand things to thee may likened be,
And though thou art with nobody nowhere,
Yet half mankind devote themselves to thee.
How many books thy history contain;
How many heads thy mighty plans pursue;
What labouring hands thy portion only gain;
What busy bodies thy doings only do!
To thee the great, the proud, the giddy bend,
And--like my sonnet--all in nothing end.

--_Richard Parson_.

NURSES

FREDDIE--"Are you the trained nurse mama said was coming?"

NURSE--"Yes, dear; I'm the trained nurse."

FREDDIE--"Let's see some of your tricks, then!"

OBEDIENCE

A certain woman demands instant and unquestioning obedience from her
children. One afternoon a storm came up and she sent her little son
John to close the trap leading to the flat roof of the house.

"But mother," began John.

"John, I told you to shut the trap."

"Yes, but mother--"

"John, shut that trap."

"All right, mother, if you say so--but--"

"John!"

Whereupon John slowly climbed the stairs and shut the trap. Two