n't want to risk it, eh?'

"'No; but I puts in de experience.'

"'And he puts in the capital?'

"'Yes, dot is it. We goes into pizness for dree year; he puts in de
gabital, I puts in de experience. At the end of de dree year I will
have de gabital, and he will have de experience!'"

PEACE

"Why were all the nations fighting, papa?"

"To make the world safe for democracy, my son."

"Is the world safe for democracy now, papa?"

"It will be, when we have peace."

"When will we have peace, papa?"

"When the world is safe for democracy."

"Will the nations always fight to have peace, papa?"

"Yes, always, my son."

A certain people were much given to deploring war. War, they kept
insisting, was poor business.

Their King heard them, but he didn't take them seriously. The very
first chance he got he picked a quarrel with a neighboring Power, and,
that done, he lifted up his voice in the old way.

"The fatherland is in danger!" he cried. "The honor of the nation is
assailed! My children, be patriots!"

But they couldn't see him. "Not on your life!" they made answer. "You
can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of
the time, but you can not fool all the people all the time!"

Whereupon the King made haste to patch up his quarrel and was very
careful forever after not to pick another.

This fable teaches that we have still some distance to go before
universal peace can be anything but a joke.

PEDESTRIANS

"You know," said the lady whose motor-car had run down a man, "you
must have been walking very carelessly. I am a very careful driver. I
have been driving a car for seven years."

"Lady, you've got nothing on me. I've been walking for fifty-four
years."

Chug-Chug! Br-r! Br-r-r! Honk! Honk! Gilligillug-gilligillug!

The pedestrian paused at the intersection of two busy cross streets.

He looked about. A motor-car was rushing at him from one direction, a
motorcycle from another, a steam truck was coming from behind, and a
taxicab was speedily approaching.

Zip-zip! Zing-glug!

He looked up, and saw directly above him an air-ship in rapid descent.

There was but one chance. He was standing upon a manhole cover.
Quickly seizing it, he lifted the lid and jumped into the hole just in
time to be run over by an underground train.

PENMANSHIP

Mr. Brown had just registered and was about to turn away when the
clerk asked:

"Beg pardon, but w