icket and forget it."

Lightning knocked over three men who were sitting on boxes in front of
Sawyer's store yesterday. One of them was knocked senseless; the other
two exclaimed, "Leggo! I'm comin' right home."

TEACHER--"In what part of the Bible is it taught that a man should
have only one wife?"

LITTLE BOY--"I guess it's the part that says that no man can serve
more than one master."

The trouble with most marriages is that a man always makes the mistake
of marrying the woman who carries him off his feet--instead of trying
to find one who will keep him on them.

CONDUCTOR (to passenger of Pullman)--"Excuse me, sir. Is this lady
your wife?"

PASSENGER--"I don't know. It depends upon what State we are passing
through."--_Life_.

"I'm thinking of getting married, pa. What's it like?"

"You had a job as janitor once, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"And you had a position as watchman once, didn't you?"

"And you worked a while as a caretaker, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's a combination of all three jobs--and then some."

The archbishop had preached a fine sermon on married life and
its beauties. Two old Irishwomen were heard coming out of church
commenting on the address.

"'Tis a fine sermon his Riverence would be after giving us," said one
to the other.

"It is, indade," was the quick reply, "and I wish I knew as little
about the matter as he does."--_Life_.

A young Swede appeared at the county judge's office and asked for a
license.

"What kind of a license?" asked the judge. "A hunting license?"

"No," was the answer. "Aye tank aye bane hunting long enough. Aye want
marriage license."

The young man sidled into the jeweler's shop with a furtive air. He
handed the jeweler a ring with the stammered statement that he wished
it marked "with some names."

"What names do you wish?" inquired the jeweler in a sympathetic tone.

"From Henry to Clara," the young man blushingly whispered.

The jeweler looked from the ring to the young man, and said in a
fatherly manner: "Take my advice, young man, and have it engraved
simply, 'From Henry.'"

JUDGE--"The police say that you and your wife had some words."

PRISONER--"I had some, but didn't get a chance to use them."--_Puck_.

At the end of three weeks of married life, a Southern darky returned
to the minister who had performed the ceremony and asked for a
divorce. After explaining that he could not grant divorces, the
minister