Oh, he was with the regiment down in Texas and crawled under an army
mule to see why it wouldn't go."

"Some men," said Uncle Eben, "put in der lives kickin' at nothin'.
Bar's dis much to be said foh de mule. If he's interested enough to
kick, he's willin' to go to de trouble of takin' aim."

"_Love's Labor Lost_"

Luke had been sent to the store with the mule and wagon. What happened
is told in Luke's end of the conversation over the telephone from the
store.

"Gimme seb'n-'leben.

"Gimme dat number quick, please 'm.

"Dis yer's Luke, suh.

"Dis yer's Luke, I say, suh.

"I tuk de wagon to de sto' fo dat truck.

"Yas, suh, I'm at de sto'.

"Dat mule, she balk, suh.

"She's balkin' in de big road, near de sto'.

"No, suh, she ain' move.

"No, suh, I don' think she's gwine move.

"Yas, suh, I beat 'er.

"I did beat 'er good.

"She's jes' r'ar a li'l bit, suh.

"Yas, suh, she kick, too.

"She jes' bus' de whiffletree li'l bit, suh.

"No, suh, dat mule won't lead.

"Yas, suh, I tried it.

"No, suh, jes' bit _at_ me.

"No, suh, I ain't tickle de laigs.

"I tickle um las' year, suh, once.

"Yas, suh, we twis' 'er tail.

"No, suh, I ain' done it.

"Who done it?

"I t'ink he's li'l travelin' man f'um Boston, suh. He twis' 'er tail.

_"Yas, suh! She sho' did!_

"Right spang in de face, suh.

"Dey's got 'im at de sto'.

"Dey say he's comin' to, suh.

"I don' know--he do look mighty sleepy to me, suh.

"Yas, suh, we tried dat.

"Yas, suh, we built a fire under 'er.

"No, suh, dat ain' make 'er go.

"She jes' move up li'l bit, suh.

"Yas, suh, de wagon bu'n right up. Dat's whut I'm telephonin' yu
'bout--to ast yu please sen' a wagon to hitch up to dis yer mule. She
ain' gwine budge lessen she's hitched up. Good-by, suh."

Ephum Johnson was up before Judge Shimmerplate on a cruelty to animals
charge.

"Deed Ah wasn't abusing dat mule, judge," the old man demurred.

"Did you not strike it repeatedly with a club?"

"Yassah."

"And do you not know that you can accomplish more with animals by
speaking to them?"

"Yassah; but this critter am different. He am so deef he can't hear
me when Ah speaks to him in de usual way, so Ah has to communicate wid
him in de sign language."

On mules we find two legs behind
And two we find before;
We stand behind before we find
What the two behind stand for!

A teacher was instructing a class in English and called o