de open with wonder, said, after a moment's
thought: "Gee, what a memory you've got!"

_A Thing Forgotten_

White owl is not gloomy;
Black bat is not sad.
It is only that each has forgotten
Something he used to remember:
Black bat goes searching ... searching....
White owl says over and over
Who? What? Where?

WALTER--"Mr. Smith's left his umbrella again. I do believe he would
leave his head if it were loose."

ROBINSON--"I dare say you're right. I heard him say only yesterday he
was going to Switzerland for his lungs."

Rose, the garrulous domestic, can give you facts of
history--international, dramatic, scandalous--right off the bat
without a moment's hesitation.

"How do you manage to remember all these things, Rose?" inquired her
employer the other day.

Then Rose came back with the infallible rule for memory training.

"I'll tell ye, ma'am," says she. "All me life never a lie I've told.
And when ye don't have to be taxin' yer memory to be rememberin' what
ye told this one or that one, or how ye explained this or that, ye
don't overwork it and it lasts ye, good as new, forever."

"What brought you here, my man?" asked the prison visitor.

"Just plain absent-mindedness," replied the prisoner.

"Why, how could that be?"

"I forgot to change the engine number of the car before I sold it."

MEN

"Daughter," said the father, "your young man, Rawlings, stays until a
very late hour. Has not your mother said something to you about this
habit of his?"

"Yes, father," replied the daughter sweetly. "Mother says men haven't
altered a bit."

All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable,
those that are movable, and those that move.--_Arabian proverb_.

For every woman who makes a fool out of a man there is another woman
who makes a man out of a fool.

The ideal man is as numerous as there are women to describe him.

If a woman is an hour late in returning home, and her husband is
worried, she is flattered. If a man is three hours late he is angry if
anyone is worried.

He was fond of playing jokes on his wife, and this time he thought he
had a winner.

"My dear," he said, as they sat at supper, "I just heard such a sad
story of a young girl today. They thought she was going blind, and so
a surgeon operated on her and found--"

"Yes?" gasped the wife breathlessly.

"That she'd got a young man in her eye!" ended the husband