?" persisted the brown brother.

"Why, when you get plenty of money you will be independent and will
not have to work any more," replied the teacher.

"I don't have to work now," said the native--and the teacher gave it
up in disgust.

FIRST COCKY (on horseback)--"That cove ye've had wurrkin' for yer
arsked me fur a job this mornin'. Was he a steady chap Ryan?"

SECOND COCKY--"He was. If he'd ha' bin inny stiddier he'd ha' bin
motionless."

"What sort of a chap is Bill to camp out with?"

"He's one of those fellows who always takes down a mandolin about the
time it's up to somebody to get busy with the frying pan."

A camera man who had ventured without permission to take some pictures
on a farm for the educational department of a film company was met
unexpectedly by the owner of the farm and hastened to explain his
presence there. "I've just been taking a few moving pictures of life
on your farm," he said.

"Have you?" the old farmer responded. "And did you catch my hired man
in motion?"

"Sure I did," the man assured him.

"You did!" the farmer exclaimed. Then he shook his head reflectively.
"Well, well," he remarked, "science is a wonderful thing."

LEAGUE OF NATIONS

"Why do you object to the League of Nations?"

"On musical grounds. After singing 'My Country, 'Tis of Thee,' all
these years, I don't want the mental effort of changing to 'Our
Countries, Tis of Those.'"

FOR SALE--"League of Nations." Several pages missing; binding gone in
spots. Damaged by fire and water. Valuable historical document. Author
now unknown. As is.

LEAP YEAR

_A Modern Leap-Year Song_

Ah, me! why should I marry me?
Lovers are plenty, but fortunes are few
Why lose wages that carry me
Better by far than a husband could do?
Fond youth, calmly I'm viewing you,
Steeling a heart that might flutter and throb:
I've no thought of pursuing you;
Poverty's stupid--I'll stick to my job.

LEFT HANDEDNESS

Pat, who was left-handed, was being sworn in as a witness in the West
Side Court of Denver, Colo.

"Hold up your right hand," said the judge. Up went Pat's left hand.

"Hold up your right hand," commanded the judge, sternly.

"Sure and I am, yer honor," declared Pat. "Me right hand's on me
left-hand side."

LEGISLATION

"Have you made any resolutions or turned over a new leaf or anything
like that?"

"No," replied the man with the sere