unconstitutional. Do you think that you can manage it?"

"Easily," answered the lawyer.

"Well, go ahead and get familiar with the case."

"I'm already at home in it. I know my ground perfectly. It's the same
law you had me prove was constitutional two years ago."

"Are you sure you can prove my client is crazy?"

"Why, certainly," replied the eminent alienist. "And what is more, if
you are ever in trouble and need my services I'll do the same thing
for you."

The lawyer was endeavoring to pump some free advice out of the doctor.

"Which side is it best to lie on, Doc?"

"The side that pays you the retainer."

An attorney in Dublin having died exceedingly poor, a shilling
subscription was set on foot to pay the expenses of his funeral. Most
of the attorneys and barristers having subscribed, one of them applied
to Toler, afterwards Lord Chief Justice Norbury, expressing his hope
that he would also subscribe his shilling.

"Only a shilling!" said Toler; "only a shilling to bury an attorney!
Here is a guinea; go and bury one-and-twenty of them."

_See also_ Judges.

LAZINESS

"I was in need of help to harvest my prune crop," said the grower,
"and I went to a saloon in a near-by city. On entering the place I
accosted the barkeeper, and asked him if any of the men lounging about
the place cared for employment at good wages.

"'I dunno,' said the mixer, 'yer better ask 'em.'

"'Any of you men want to go to work?' I said.

"There was a dead silence for a few moments, when one of the loafers
spoke up and queried, 'What doing, and what do yer pay?'

"'Picking prunes,' I replied, 'and I pay three dollars a day and
board.'

"'What kind of a place is it?' asked the garrulous one.

"'It is an attractive rolling orchard,' I answered.

"The I. W. W. spokesman rose from his chair, yawned, stretched
himself, and said, 'Well, roll her in here and let's see her, and
we'll tell yer if we wants the job.'"

A morning paper complains that "eggs ought to be more plentiful and
cheaper than they are at the present time." The number of hens to be
seen nowadays standing about doing nothing is certainly a scandal.

An American teacher undertook the task of convincing an indolent
native son of the Philippines that it was his duty to get out and
hustle.

"But why should I work?" inquired the guileless Filipino.

"In order to make money," declared the thrifty teacher.

"But what do I want with money