to suffer from it."

INSTALMENT PLAN

"I wonder will Smithers always allude to his wife so lovingly as 'my
own'?"

"Well, she is his own. Everything else in his home he is paying for on
the instalment plan."

LADY VISITOR--"Oh, Tommy, you have a nice new suit!"

TOMMY--"Yes, I think the man pa bought it from is sorry he sold it.
He's always calling."

INSURANCE, FIRE

THE MAN OF LAW--"But, my dear madam, there is no insurance money for
you to draw. Your late husband never insured his life; he only had a
policy against fire."

THE WONDERFUL WIDOW--"Precisely. That is the very reason I had him
cremated!"

A woman, wearing an anxious expression, called at an insurance office
one morning.

"I understand," she said, "that for five dollars I can insure my house
for a thousand dollars."

"Yes," replied the agent, "that is right."

"And," continued the woman anxiously, "do you make any inquiries as to
the origin of the fire?"

"Certainly," was the prompt reply.

"Oh!" and she turned to leave the office, "I thought there was a catch
in it somewhere."

"I say, Jones, I want to insure my coal-yards against fire. What would
a policy for $20,000 cost?"

"What coal is it? Same kind as you sent me last?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't bother insuring it if I were you. It won't burn."

When the agent brought Mrs. Tarley her fire-insurance policy he
remarked that it would be well for her to make her first payment at
once.

"How much will it be?" she asked.

"About $100. Wait a minute and I'll find the exact amount."

"Oh, how tiresome!" she exclaimed. "Tell the company to let it stand
and deduct it from what they will owe me when the house burns down."

INSURANCE, LIFE

"I wish you would tell me," said the agent, who had been a long time
on Mr. Snaggs' trail, "what is your objection to having your life
insured?"

"Well, I don't mind telling you," replied Snaggs. "The idea of being
more valuable dead than alive is distasteful to me."

"What's the matter, old man? You look worried."

"Well, to be honest with you, I am. You know, I took out some life
insurance last Thursday."

"Yes," replied the sympathetic friend, "but what has that to do with
the wobegone expression on your face?"

"Well, the very next day after I had it written my wife bought a
new cook-book. Possibly it's all right, but it certainly looks
suspicious."

MR. MANLEY--"Well, my dear, I've had my life ins