on?"

MANNING--"Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't
have the price?"--_Life_.

"How do you pronounce 'pneumonia'?" asked the French boy, who had come
to England to learn the language.

His only chum told him.

"That's odd," replied the young Gaul. "It says in this story I am
reading that the doctor pronounced it fatal."

Mr. Roger W. Babson says that in looking up appendicitis cases he
learned that in 17 per cent. of the operations for that disease the
post-mortem examinations showed that the appendix was in perfect
condition.

"The whole subject," he adds, "reminds me of a true story I heard in
London recently. In the hospitals there, the ailment of the patient,
when he is admitted, is denoted by certain letters, such as 'T. B.'
for tuberculosis. An American doctor was examining these history slips
when his curiosity was aroused by the number on which the letters
'G.O.K.' appeared. He said to the physician who was showing him
around:

"'There seems to be a severe epidemic of this G.O.K. in London. What
is it, anyhow?'

"Oh, that means 'God only knows,'" replied the English physician.

The fashionable physician walked in, in his breezy way, and nodded
smilingly at his patient.

"Well, here I am, Mrs. Adams," he announced. "What do you think is the
matter with you this morning?"

"Doctor, I hardly know," murmured the fashionable patient languidly.
"What is new?"

"When I was a boy," said the gray-haired physician, who happened to
be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to be a soldier; but my parents
persuaded me to study medicine."

"Oh, well," rejoined the sympathetic druggist, "such is life. Many a
man with wholesale aspirations has to content himself with a retail
business."

The eminent physicians had been called in consultation. They had
retired to another room to discuss the patient's condition. In the
closet of that room a small boy had been concealed by the patient's
directions to listen to what the consultation decided and to tell the
patient who desired genuine information.

"Well, Jimmy," said the patient, when the boy came to report, "what
did they say?"

"I couldn't tell you that," said the boy. "I listened as hard as I
could, but they used such big words I couldn't remember much of it.
All I could catch was when one doctor said:

"'Well, we'll find that out at the autopsy.'"

YOUNG WOMAN (to be neighbor at dinner)--"Guess whom I met today,
doctor?"