only take a day or so and I hope you won't miss me
too much while I'm gone, but--"

"I won't," answered his young wife, positively, "because I'm going
with you."

"I wish you could, dear, but it won't be convenient this time. What
would you want to go for, anyhow? I'm going to be too busy to be with
you, and--"

"I have to go. I need clothes."

"But, darling--you can get all the clothes you want right here on
Euclid Avenue."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted."

"I'm just waiting for my husband to complain about my extravagance
this month."

"Ready to give him an argument, eh?"

"You bet I am. By mistake his golf-club checks came to the house, and
I've got 'em."

"You are not economical," said the infuriated husband.

"Well," flashed his wife, "if you don't call a woman economical who
saves her wedding dress for a possible second marriage, I'd love to
know just what you do call economy."

"But your fiance has such a small salary, how are you going to live?"

"Oh, we're going to economize. We're going to do without such a lot of
things that Jack needs."

"Are you an expert accountant," asked the prospective employer.

"Yes, sir," said the applicant.

"Your written references seem to be all right, but tell me more about
yourself."

"Well, my wife kept a household account for thirty days. One night
after supper I sat down and in less than an hour found out how much we
owed our grocer."

"Hang up your hat and coat," said the employer with a glad smile. "The
job is yours."

HE--"My dear, I've warned you before, and now I must insist that we
try to live within our income."

SHE--"Oh, very well, if you want to be considered eccentric by
everybody in our set."

"Now," said the bridegroom to the bride, when they returned from their
honeymoon trip, "let us have a clear understanding before we settle
down to married life. Are you the president or the vice-president of
the society?"

"I want to be neither president nor vice-president," she answered. "I
will be content with a subordinate position."

"What position is that, my dear?"

"Treasurer."

SHE--"When we go anywhere now we have to take the street-car. Before
our marriage you always called a taxi."

HE--"Exactly. And that's the reason we have to go in the street-car
now."

"My wife certainly makes my salary go a long way."

"So does mine--so far that none of it ever comes back."

"I'm having trouble in supporting my wif