hadn't yet paid him. They generously decided
to give him all the collection for that Sunday and on opening the
contribution box they found exactly fifty cents. The minister accepted
it and went on his way home. After walking some distance the boy
noticed his father was very silent evidently pondering over something,
so he said, "Father, how much did you get?"

The father replied "Fifty cents, son."

"Why father, that's just what you put in, wasn't it?" asked the boy.

"Yes, son."

Both walked along in silence for some distance further, then the boy
spoke up and said: "Father, if you had put more in, you'd have got
more out, wouldn't you?"

Tight, who had money to burn but was apparently afraid of fire,
happened in a church one day when a collection was being taken for
foreign missions. Eventually the collector reached Tight, but Tight
didn't make any motions like producing beautiful coin.

"Pardon me," said the collector, placing the box before Tight, "we are
taking a collection for foreign missions. Wouldn't you like to add a
little to the amount?"

"No, sir!" was the decisive rejoinder of Tight. "I never give to
foreign missions."

"Then take a little out of the box," softly responded the collector.
"The money is for the benefit of the heathen."

A church in Kansas was raising funds for a new church and the minister
was calling on members for subscriptions. One of the pillars of the
church rose and said: "I subscribe five dollars." Just at that instant
a piece of plaster fell on his head. Half stunned he mumbled "f-f-five
hundred dollars" and the minister prayed "Oh Lord, hit him again."

CONUNDRUMS

A party of young people were amusing themselves by guessing the
answers to conundrums. One of them asked, "Why is the pancake like the
sun?"

"Because it rises in der yeast and sets behind der vest," was the
answer given by a brilliant young Swede.

They were discussing that joke about getting down off an elephant.

"How do you get down?" asked the jokesmith for the fourth time.

"You climb down."

"Wrong!"

"You grease his sides and slide down."

"Wrong!!"

"You take a ladder and get down."

"Wrong!!!"

"Well, you take the trunk line down."

"No, not quite. You don't get down off an elephant; you get it off a
goose."

COOKERY

"So your husband kept house and cooked his own meals while you were
away. Did he enjoy it?"

"He says he did; but I notice that the parrot