OLD DAME--"You've had two penn'orth of sweets, my little man, but
you've only given me a penny."

THE LITTLE MAN--"Yes, but farver says one penny's got to do the work
of two in war-time."--_Punch_.

"Of course you have your little theory about the cause of the high
cost of living?"

"I have," replied Mr. Growcher: "too many people are trying to make
political economy take the place of domestic economy."

HE--"Yes, I certainly like good food, and always look forward to the
next meal."

SHE--"Why don't you talk of higher things once in a while?"

HE--"But, my dear, what is higher than food?"--_Life_.

A certain judge, after passing sentence, always gave advice to
prisoners. Having before him a man found guilty of stealing, he
started thus:

"It you want to succeed in this world you must keep straight. Now, do
you understand?"

"Well, not quite," said the prisoner; "but if your lordship will tell
me how a man is to keep straight when he is trying to make boths ends
meet, I might."

And another trouble with the country is that too many are trying to
satisfy a bricklayer's appetite on a school-teacher's salary.

SMALL BOY (much interested in shopman's reason for high price
of eggs)--"But, mummy, how do the hens know we're at war with
Germany?"--_Punch_.

"Don't you object to all this talk about the high cost of everything?"

"Not at all," replied the profiteer. "It prepares the mind of a
customer for what he may expect and saves argument."

"How's this, waiter? You've charged me two dollars and a half for
planked steak!"

"Sorry sir, but lumber's gone up again."

Our Government does not profess to live within its income, but only
within ours.

"Farm products cost more than they used to."

"Yes," replied Mr. Corntossel. "When a farmer is supposed to know the
botanical name of what he's raisin' an' the zoological name of the
insect that eats it, and the chemical name of what will kill it,
somebody's got to pay."

_Its Friendly Way_

"How are we to meet the high cost of living?"

"You don't have to meet it," answered the irritating person. "It
overtakes you."

"What are the luxuries of life?"

"Things that were necessities two years ago."

A couple of Philadelphia youths, who had not met in a long while, met
and fell to discussing their affairs in general.

"I understand," said one, "that you broke your engagement with Clarice
Collines."

"No, I didn't break it."