little too small;--she has an awful
hard time getting it off when the other fellows call!"

MR. SLOW (calling on girl)--"You seem rather--er--distant this
evening."

GIRL--"Well, your chair isn't nailed to the floor, is it?"

_See also_ Love; Proposals.

CREDIT

FIRST CREDIT MAN--"How about Jones of Pigville Center?"

SECOND CREDIT MAN--"He always pays cash, so we don't know how honest
he is!"

A little girl of eight entered a store in a small town and said:

"I want some cloth to make my dolly a dress."

The merchant selected some and handed the child the package.

"How much is it?" she asked.

"Just one kiss," was the reply.

"All right," said the child as she turned to go, "grandma said to tell
you she would pay you when she came in tomorrow."

"Them was nice folk you waited on, Mamie, ain't they?" "No, no, dear!
Appearances is deceitful. They didn't have no charge-account. Paid
cash for everything."--_Judge_.

Mr. Butterworth, the grocer, was looking over the credit sales-slips
one day. Suddenly he called to the new clerk:

"Did you give George Callahan credit?"

"Sure," said the clerk. "I--"

"Didn't I tell you to get a report on any and every man asking for
credit?"

"Why, I did," retorted the clerk, who was an earnest young fellow.
"I did get a report. The agency said he owed money to every grocer
in town, and, of course, if his credit was that good I knew that you
would like to have him open an account here!"

A well-known wholesale merchant, who has a wide patronage throughout
the Piedmont region of the South, received the following letter from
one of his customers a few weeks ago:

"I receive your letter about what I owes you. Now be pachent. I ain't
forgot you and soon as folks pay me I'll pay you, but if this was
judgment day and you were no more prepared to meet your Maker than I
am to meet your account then you sho going to hell."

The credit, it may be noted, was extended.

"Rufus, aren't you feeling well?"

"No, sah; I'se not feelin' well, sah."

"Have you consulted your doctor, Rufus?"

"No, sah; I ain't don' dat, sah."

"Why? Aren't you willing to trust your doctor, Rufus?"

"Oh, yes, sah; but de trubble is he's not so alt'gether willin' to
trus' me, sah."

"My son," said old man Reddit,
"Take this advice from me:
The less you use your credit
The better it will be."

CRIME

Lives of master crooks remind us
We ma