"Well, that's funny. Mother said you were a popinjay, and father said
there was no doubt about your being a jay, and Sue said there didn't
seem to be much chance of your poppin', and now you say you aren't a
bird at all."

Courtship is a bowknot that matrimony pulls into a hard knot.

IRATE PARENT--"No, siree. You can't have her. I won't have a
son-in-law who has no more brains than to want to marry a girl with
no more sense than my daughter has shown in allowing you to think you
could have her."--_Life_.

_The Lover's Farewell_

"Oh! fare you well, my dearest dear,
Oh! fare you well for a while,
I go away, but I'll come back again,
If I go ten thousand miles."

"But who will take me out," she sighed,
"And who will glove my hands,
And who will kiss my ruby lips
When you are in foreign lands?"

"Your brother will take you out," he said,
"Your mother will glove your hands,
And I will kiss your ruby lips
When I return again."

Will and Mary had been busy courting for over two years, meeting every
night in Hope Street, Glasgow. About a fortnight ago, Will, in parting
with his beloved, made the usual remark:

"I'll meet ye in Hope Street tomorrow nicht. Mind and be punctual."

"'Deed, aye, Will, lad," replied Meg, with a merry twinkle in her eye.
"We hae met noo a lang time in Hope Street, an' I was jist thinkin'
that it was high time we were shiftin' oor trystin'-place a street
farther along. Whit wad ye say to Union Street?"

MAUDE--"What makes you think his intentions are serious?"

MABEL--"When he first began to call he used to talk about the books I
like to read."

MAUDE--"And now?"

MABEL--"Now he talks about the things he likes to eat."--_Life_.

"Cheer up, old man! There's other fish in the sea."

REJECTED SUITOR-"Yes, but the last one took all my bait!"--_Life_.

NEIGHBOR--"Got much money in your bank, Bobby?"

BOBBY--"Gee, no! The depositors have fallen off somethin' fierce since
sister got engaged."

"So you want to marry my daughter, eh?" snorted the old man. "Do you
consider yourself financially able to do so?"

"Well," replied the suitor, "after a fellow has bought candy and
flowers for a girl for a year, and has taken her to the theater twice
a week and is still not broke, I guess he can afford to get married."

MR. GOODTHING--"How does your sister like the engagement ring I gave
her, Bobby?"

HER YOUNG BROTHER--"Well, it's a