t with it
had he spent it then!"

"She says she prefers to do her shopping by telephone."

"Why so?"

"Says she can't bear to see how little she is getting for the money."

"How's business?"

"Not too good--thanks to some dishonest rascals who are selling goods
at reasonable prices."

"Did you try the simple plan of counting sheep for your insomnia?"

"Yes, doctor, but I made a mess of it. I counted ten thousand sheep,
put 'em on the train, and shipped 'em to market. And when I'd got
through counting the money I got for them at present prices it was
time to get up."

"Father, I need a new riding habit."

"Can't afford it," he growled.

"But, father, what am I to do without a riding habit?"

"Get the walking habit."

In these days of the high cost of living the following story has a
decided point:

The teacher of a primary class was trying to show the children the
difference between the natural and man-made wonders, and was finding
it hard.

"What," she asked, "do you think is the most wonderful thing man ever
made?"

A little girl, whose parents were obviously harassed by the question
of ways and means, replied as solemnly as the proverbial judge:

"A living for a family."

"Why don't you move into more comfortable quarters, old man?"

"I can't even pay the rent on this miserable hole."

"Well, since you don't pay rent, why not get something better?"

MRS. HOMESPUN--"What'll we contribute to the minister's
donation-party?"

FARMER HOMESPUN--"Wal, I dunno, Hannar! Taters is 'way up, pork is
'way up, fowl is 'way up--we'll save money by giving him money."

A farmer, the other day, took a plowshare to the blacksmith's to be
sharpened, and while the blacksmith worked the farmer chuckled and
bragged about a sale of hogs he had just made.

"Them hogs was only eight months old," he said, "and none too fat,
nuther; but I seen that the buyer was at his wits' end, and by skilful
jugglin' I boosted up the price on him just 300 per cent. Yes, by gum,
I got three times more for them hogs than I uster get before the war."

The plowshare being done, the farmer handed the smith 50 cents.

"Hold on," said the smith, "I charge $1.50 for that job now."

"You scandalous rascal!" yelled the farmer. "What do you mean by
treblin' your price on me? What have you done it for?"

"I've done it," said the blacksmith, "so's I'll be able to eat some of
that high-priced pork of yours this winter."