r letter to God. After enumerating the many and
varied presents he wanted very much, he concluded with: "Remember,
God, the Lord loveth a cheerful giver."

CHURCH

SCOTT--"What is your notion of an ideal church?"

JACKSON--"One that meddles with neither politics nor religion."

He had been around from church to church trying to find a congenial
congregation, and finally he stopped in a little church just as the
congregation read with the minister:

"We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we
have done those things which we ought not to have done."

The man dropped into a pew with a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness," he said, "I've found my crowd at last."

HIX--"I understand your Church has sent the minister to Michigan for a
month."

DIX--"Yes, that's right."

HIX--"For a vacation, I suppose?"

DIX--"Yes; the congregation decided that we were entitled to one."

CHURCH ATTENDANCE

"What's the idea of free pews?"

"Well, it gives everyone a chance to stay away from church at a
minimum expense."

_Why They Went to Church_

Mrs. Clogg went to find out where the missionary meeting would be
held.

Willie Jones went because his mother made him.

His sister went because she had her hair up for the first time.

Sadie Williams went to flirt with the Scott boy.

The Scott boy went to flirt with Sadie Williams.

James B. Jenkins went because he had done so for fourteen years.

The sexton went because he had to pump the organ.

One of the girl ushers in a Flatbush theater had a problem offered her
the other evening. She was showing two women to their seats.

"Is the show this evening fit for church women to see?" asked one of
the pillaresses of a Flatbush congregation.

"I--I don't know," responded the girl. Then she brightened. "You see,"
she said, "I don't have no time to go to church."

Mr. Dickson, a colored barber in a large New England town, was shaving
one of his customers, a respectable citizen, one morning, when a
conversation occurred between them respecting Mr. Dickson's former
connection with a colored church in that place:--

"I believe you are connected with the church in Elm Street, are you
not, Mr. Dickson?" said his customer.

"No, sah, not at all."

"What! are you not a member of the African Church?"

"Not this year, sah."

"Why did you leave their communion, Mr. Dickson, if I may be permitted
to ask?"

"Well, I'll tell