lled to service.
Arriving in town, he found the local board had moved to another
street. At the new address another negro languished in the doorway.

"Is dis whar de redemtion bo'd is at?" queried the newcomer.

"Sho' is," answered the second. "But de blessed redeemer done gone out
fo' lunch."

Zeb Smith was a drafted man. He saw heavy fighting in France and was
wounded. On his return to the United States he was interviewed by one
whose duty it was to interest himself in the men.

"Smith, what do you intend to do when you are released from the
service?"

"Get me some dependents," was the instantaneous reply.

The called-up one volubly explained that there was no need in his case
for a medical examination.

"I'm fit and I want to fight. I want to go over on the first boat.
I want to go right into the front trenches, but I want to have a
hospital close, so that if I get hit no time will be wasted in taking
me where I can get mended right away, so that I can get back to
fighting without losing a minute. Pass me in, doctor. Don't waste any
time on me. I want to fight, and keep fighting!"

The doctor, however, insisted, and, when he got through, reported a
perfect physical specimen.

"You don't find nothing wrong with me, doctor?"

"Nothing."

"But, doctor, don't you think I'm a bit crazy?"

_See also_ Judgment.

CONSERVATIVES

_See_ Radicals.

CONSOLATION

FIRST WALL STREET BROKER--"Anything to do today?"

SECOND WALL STREET BROKER--"Certainly not."

"Come to a funeral with me. It will cheer you up a bit."--_Life_.

CONTENTMENT

Contentment is merely the knack of not wanting the things we know we
can't have.

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away
some fire.--_Fuller_.

Contentment travels rarely with fortune; but follows virtue even in
misfortune.--_Leszczinski_.

To be content with what we possess is the greatest and most secure of
riches.--_Cicero_.

CONTRIBUTION BOX

"I can na' get ower it," a Scottish farmer remarked to his wife. "I
put a twa-shillin' piece in the plate at the kirk this morning instead
o' ma usual penny."

The beadle had noticed the mistake, and in silence he allowed the
farmer to miss the plate for twenty-three consecutive Sundays.

On the twenty-fourth Sunday the farmer again ignored the plate, but
the old beadle stretched the ladle in front of him and, in a loud,
tragic whisper, hoarsely sa