ked him why. Then Andrew said:

"Well, he can't get in."

"Hello Millett," called out a neighbor one morning "I saw you starting
away yesterday morning very early on your fishing trip. Did you have
any luck?"

"Great!" was the reply. "While I was away three collectors called."

"I wish to see Mr. Jones about a bill."

"He's away on vacation, sir."

"Did he leave any address?"

"Yes, sir. For bill collectors it's 'Somewhere in America.'"

MERCHANT: "They say you are very successful with old bills and seldom
have to dun them twice. What's the secret?"

BAD-BILL COLLECTOR: "I am afflicted with insomnia and do my collecting
nights."

A Texas tradesman has this pertinent sign in a conspicuous place in
his store:

Man is made of dust.

Dust Settles.

Be a Man!

"Norah," said Mrs. Dedbeat, from the top of the stairs, "tell that man
who is ringing the doorbell that I am not receiving today!"

The servant girl went to the door and said something to the man; then
she stepped into the hall and called upstairs:

"I told him you were not receivin' today, ma'am! But he says he ain't
deliverin', he's collectin'!"

He was running a small provision-store in a newly developed district,
and the big wholesale dealers found him very backward in payment of
his accounts.

They sent him letter after letter, each more politely threatening than
the last. Finally they sent their representative down to give him a
sporting chance.

"Now," said the caller, "we must have a settlement. Why haven't you
sent us anything? Are things going badly?"

"No. Everything's going splendidly. You needn't worry. My bankers will
guarantee me all right."

"Then why haven't you paid up?"

"Well, you see, those threatening letters of yours were so well done
that I've been copying them and sending them round to a few customers
of my own who won't pay up, and I've collected nearly all outstanding
debts. I was only holding back because I felt sure there must be a
final letter, and I wanted to get the series complete."

_Probably Meant Florida_

"So the doctor told you to go to a warmer climate. What was the nature
of the trouble you consulted him about?"

"I went there to collect a bill."

"Why don't you pay your bills?" angrily demanded the collector, after
his tenth fruitless call.

"What?" exclaimed Mr. Dedbete. "Do you imagine I could be so
hard-hearted as