ere a dull thud?

No.

"Indeed," said the lady, quick as a flash, "and pray what are you
doing there?"

TEARFUL PARISHIONER (saying farewell to departing minister)--"I don't
know what we will do when you are gone, Dr. Blank."

MINISTER--"Oh, the church will soon get a better man than I am."

TEARFUL PARISHIONER--"That's what they all say, but they keep getting
worse and worse."

A clergyman was accustomed to use scientific terms which the people
did not understand. A deputation waited on him with the request that
in the future, whenever he used such terms, he would explain them.

On the following Sunday he used the word "hyperbole," and added:

"As agreed on, I beg to explain this word. Were I to say that at this
moment the whole of my congregation are sound asleep, it would
be hyperbole; but if I say that one-half are asleep, that is not
hyperbole, but the truth."

The next day the deputation again called to say that the minister
need not explain technical terms; they'd learn their meaning from a
dictionary.

A minister came to the Episcopal church, at Williamsport, Pa., to
speak.

"Do you wish to wear a surplice?" asked the rector.

"Surplice!" cried the visitor. "Surplice! I am a Methodist. What do I
know about surplices? All I know about is a deficit!"

The Scotch minister rose and cleared his throat, but remained silent,
while the congregation awaited the sermon in puzzled expectancy. At
last he spoke:

"There's a laddie awa' there in the gallery a-kissin' a lassie," he
said. "When he's done ah'll begin."

A clergyman famous for his begging abilities was once catechizing a
Sunday-school. When comparing himself as pastor of the church to a
shepherd, and his congregation to the sheep, he put the following
question to the children: "What does the shepherd do for the sheep?"

To the confusion of the minister a small boy in the front row piped
out: "Shears them!"

A small town boasts a female preacher. One day when working in her
study she heard a timid knock at her door. Answering the summons she
found a bashful young German on the step.

"Good-afternoon," the preacheress remarked. "What do you wish?"

"Do der minister lif in dis house?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yess? Veil, I vant to kit merriet."

"All right; I can marry you."

The lady's hair is beginning to silver and the German glanced at it.
Then without comment he jammed his hat on his head and hurried down
the walk.

"Will you