. 'E's what muvver broke 'er
teapot on."

An old farmer and his wife drove to market one very wet day when large
pools of water had formed in the roadway between the farm and the
town. On the return journey he met an old friend.

"And how are you today?" was the friendly greeting.

"Very well, thank you," answered the farmer.

"How is the missus?" continued the friend.

"Fine," answered the farmer. "She's behind there"--jerking his thumb
toward the back of the wagon.

"She's not there!" exclaimed the astonished friend.

The old farmer turned and looked over his shoulder. Then he coolly
replied:

"Humph! That accounts for the splash."

CAUTION

A small boy, who was sitting next to a very haughty woman in crowded
car, kept sniffling in a most annoying way, until the woman could
stand it no longer.

"Boy, have you got a handkerchief?" she demanded.

The small boy looked at her for a few seconds, and then in a dignified
tone, came the answer.

"Yes, I 'ave, but I don't lend it to strangers."

CHARACTER

Do not tell me the books you have read; let me glean it from your
conversation. Do not tell me of the people you associate with; let me
observe it by your manners.--_Emerson_.

HOWELL--"What sort of a fellow is he?"

POWELL--"He can make two lemons grow where only one grew before and
then hand them both to you when you are not looking."--_Judge_.

To those who know thee not, no words can paint! And those who know
thee, know all words are faint!--_Hannah More_.

_The Stuff That Counts_

The test of a man is the fight he makes,
The grit that he daily shows:
The way he stands on his feet and takes
Fate's numerous bumps and blows,
A coward can smile when there's naught to fear,
When nothing his progress bars,
But it takes a man to stand and cheer
While some other fellow stars.

It isn't the victory, after all,
But the fight that a brother makes;
The man who, driven against the wall,
Still stands up erect and takes
The blows of fate with his head held high,
Bleeding and bruised, and pale.
Is the man who'll win in the by and by,
For he isn't afraid to fail.

It's the bumps you get and the jolts you get
And the shocks that your courage stands.
The hours of sorrow and vain regret,
That prize that escapes your hands
That test your mettle and prove your worth;