er might learn the same lesson, he turned to her and
said:

"Miss Jones, did you hear what I said to Tommy?"

"No, sir," she returned, promptly.

The firm of Hansen & Fransen was started in wartime and did very well
for a couple of years. But last year things were on the down grade,
and the other day, when the two partners had finished making up their
none-too-good record for the year, Hansen said: "This would make
anyone thoughtful. Now that the good times are over, how about a
little honest business?"

"No, thanks," said Fransen. "I never indulge in experiments."

"There are no more enterprising young men. Why, I remember when it was
a common thing for a young man to start out as a clerk and in a few
years own the business."

"Yes, but cash-registers have been invented since."

The junior partner was harried.

"I shall have to get another typist," he lamented. "Miss Take is
continually interrupting my dictation to ask how to spell a word."

"Dear, dear!" said the senior partner. "That seems a great waste of
time."

"It's not that I mind," responded the other. "But it's so bad for
discipline to keep on saying, 'I don't know'!"

_How Business Men Keep Their Spirits Up_

"Cancel my order at once," came the telegram to the factory. The owner
perpetrated the only new joke in the millennium. His telegram in reply
read: "Your order cannot be cancelled at once. You must take your
turn."

CUSTOMER--"Gee, this is a rotten cigar!"

SHOPKEEPER--"Well, don't complain. You've only got one of them--I've
got ten thousand of the darn things."--_Life_.

EMPLOYEE--"I don't like your methods of doing business, Mr. Grafton. I
resign."

"PRACTICAL" BUSINESS MAN (sneeringly)--"You're a holier-than-thou guy,
eh?"

EMPLOYEE--"No; merely a square peg in a crooked hole."--_Puck_.

A New York lawyer tells of a conversation that occurred in his
presence between a bank president and his son who was about to leave
for the West, there to engage in business on his own account.

"Son," said the father, "on this, the threshold of your business life,
I desire to impress one thought upon your mind: Honesty, ever and
always, is the policy that is best."

"Yes, father," said the young man.

"And, by the way," added the gray-beard, "I would advise you to read
up a little on corporation law. It will amaze you to discover how many
things you can do in a business way and still be honest."

"Dod-burn the luck!" snar