lly.
"You see, she isn't a trained waitress. She was a dairymaid originally,
but she had to abandon that occupation on account of her inability to
handle the cows without breaking their horns."

Young housewives obliged to practice strict economy will sympathize with
the sad experience of a Washington woman.

When her husband returned home one evening he found her dissolved in
tears, and careful questioning elicited the reason for her grief.

"Dan," said she, "every day this week I have stopped to look at a
perfect love of a hat in Mme. Louise's window. Such a hat, Dan, such a
beautiful hat! But the price--well, I wanted it the worst way, but just
couldn't afford to buy it."

"Well, dear," began the husband recklessly, "we might manage to--"

"Thank you, Dan," interrupted the wife, "but there isn't any 'might'
about it. I paid the cook this noon, and what do you think? She marched
right down herself and bought that hat!"--_Edwin Tarrisse_.

It is probable that many queens of the kitchen share the sentiment
good-naturedly expressed by a Scandinavian servant, recently taken into
the service of a young matron of Chicago.

The youthful assumer of household cares was disposed to be a trifle
patronizing.

"Now, Lena," she asked earnestly, "are you a _good_ cook?"

"Ya-as, 'm, I tank so," said the girl, with perfect naivete, "if you
vill not try to help me."--_Elgin Burroughs_.

"Have you a good cook now?"

"I don't know. I haven't been home since breakfast!"

MRS. LITTLETOWN--"This magazine looks rather the worse for wear."

MRS. NEARTOWN--"Yes, it's the one I sometimes lend to the servant on
Sundays."

MRS. LITTLETOWN--"Doesn't she get tired of always reading the same one?"

MRS. NEARTOWN--"Oh, no. You see, it's the same book, but it's always a
different servant."--_Suburban Life_.

MRS. HOUSEN HOHM--"What is your name?"

APPLICANT FOR COOKSHIP--"Miss Arlington."

MRS. HOUSEN HOHM--"Do you expect to be called Miss Arlington?"

APPLICANT---"No, ma'am; not if you have an alarm clock in my room."

MISTRESS--"Nora, I saw a policeman in the park to-day kiss a baby. I
hope you will remember my objection to such things."

NORA--"Sure, ma'am, no policeman would ever think iv kissin' yer baby
whin I'm around."

_See also_ Gratitude; Recommendations.

SHOPPING

CLERK--"Can you let me off to-morrow afternoon? My wife wants me to go
shopping with her."

EMPLOYER--"Certainly not. We are m